C'EST L'HISTOIRE D'UNE FILLE APPELÉE SUNSHINE... Eerily enough, I have come to the conclusion that I was born horrendously juxtaposed because I think like a fifty year old man but act like I'm seven. I'm the romantic, pragmatic, blunt, spaced-out, polite, outgoing, emotional, cliched, obsessive, disenchanted, idiot-savant, perfectionist, obscene, spiritualist anarchist maverick that's close-sighted but much too open minded, all with an off color sense of humor and a garishly bipolar disposition to back it. I believe in reading your dreams and talking to inanimate objects and laughing even when its inappropriate and that age is just a number and that there is such a thing as being fashionably late. The mind is enticing and is just as worthless as it is beautiful. I find that I will make up the world of good things about people just so I am comfortable enough to count myself among them. I think, and I think too much and not enough and never before I open my mouth. I usually look like I just stumbled out of a car accident, and am always just as disoriented and wide-eyed. I am cunning and manipulative and defenseless and I intensely dislike it when things change for the worse. I view all of my bad experiences as epic party jokes and I sincerely believe, for some odd reason and perhaps inadvertently, that I should give much more than I can take. Forever, with its continuity, seems too fickle for my taste, ironically enough, and surely can't handle my lurid frenzies or fantasies. I don't have secrets because I laugh at myself too often and too loudly. I am enamored by your psyche and am encumbered by mine, and am far too afraid to look in the mirror for fear of what may look back at me. I have faith in the fact that honesty, after brutalizing us, usually goes its way and leaves us far better off. I'm nomadic and miserable at correspondence but refuse to say goodbye. I pace and I talk to myself and I'm an insomniac and I play hopscotch and I count stars and will probably not hesitate to buy a questionable mag. I love how cigarettes smell and I would probably drink coffee and smile at you and listen to you talk about everything and nothing all at once and all day (and nod, gasp, sigh and cry, all in the right places), if you would only let me.
LES CHOSES QU'ELLE A AIMÉES...
making my friends laugh, hard candy, ebonics, ANIME, fanfiction, awkward moments, jacking music from my friends, being Black, WRITING, READING, concocting hysterical plans in bedrooms, architecture, Jeeps, sexually inappropriate interjections, multiculturalism, journalism, falling in love, philosophy, film and theatre, bike riding, street art, fractal art, shock art, juxtapostions/oxymorons/contradictions, transgressive art, degenerate art, renaissance art, drawing weird stuff in notebooks, Barack Obama, traveling, being proven wrong, pens, TRINIDAD AND TOBAGO, selflessness, weaponry, unsuccessfully integrating into normal society, realizing how awkward I am, witticism, animals, boys, girls, the apocalypse, well articulated arguments, sound effects as greetings, video games, fetishism, fashion, fae, White people that act Black, l337 speak, occultism, emotes, REALLY dumb Youtube videos, yaoi, archaeology, vampires, sarcasm, idealism, fantasy and science-fiction, blood red, astronomy, a successful way of life, teenangst!, tattoos and piercings, urbex, romanticism, the paranormal, mischief, ecology, run down apartments in New York City, self-importance, yellow, civil liberties, history, angry feminists, botany, astrology, cooking, esoteric/pretentious poetry, existentialism, fields that stretch forever, photography, looking into your eyes, conspiracy theorists, baroque, earth green, smiling, classic and contemporary literature, tropical rain showers, listening, cabaret, black cats, clove cigarettes, psychology, awkward high school dances, patriotism, drugs and toxicology, the ace of spades, mechanics, technology, BOOTS AND HEELS AND CONVERSE, dwindling anecdotes, economics, computers, my skateboard, kissing, politics, extreme sports, Buddy Holly glasses, your POV (because it's just as important and valid as mine, if not more well-founded, even), hair extensions, sun dresses, sincerity from you and from myself :)
MOVIES 
LES CHOSES QU'ELLE A DÉTESTÉES
BEING CHEATED ON, intolerance or denigration of any sort, misogynists, reproach, typos, ill-founded elitism, bad grammar, egotism, hypocrisy, spite, liars, toddlers with shitty manners, homewreckers, man eaters, moms that dont stick around, dads that don't stick around, imposed indoctrination, being robbed a choice, shorting headphones, scratched CDs, the "time of the month", WHEN YOU ASK ME TO WEBCAM WITH YOU AND SEND YOU NAKED PICTURES.
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And some specific dislikes:
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[Annoyance: "Yeah, I'm different, I never conform to the mainstream"]
[Response: You're never going to hear me say something like that. I live my life for me and the people I love and have come to care about. If that makes me different or similar to you, I don't really care.]
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[Annoyance: Customs and Immigration]
[Response: It's totally necessary and I understand it's purpose and functionality but OMFG it's scary.]
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[Annoyance: "hi do u hav a webcam i wanna see you"]
[Response: Yes I do. Piss off, I don't want to cyber with your sad ass. I don't really want to cyber with anyone.]
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[Annoyance: My idiocy]
[Response: I'll fall in love with anyone that pays attention to me for more than two seconds. I feel things REALLY intensely, and this goes against me when I feel negative things. I am insecure and will doubt myself every second of the way- it's not that I don't love myself because I do, but I'm scared to commit to decisions because I'm terrified of what I'll say to myself when you hurt me. When I fall short, it kills me and I'll eat myself from the inside out. I'm terrified of being alone, being laughed at, or being judged, or all of the above. I'll go crazy and drive myself into a hole before I'll call you out on what you did wrong. I'm terribly emotional. I'm not shallow, but I crave being considered pretty, because I want someone to care about me. The logic doesn't add up- I know it doesn't- but it freaks me out nonetheless and the obsession messes with my head. I care far too much what you think about me, and it'll destroy me, if me doing all sorts of unhealthy things to make you happy doesn't first. I always have and will be my very own worst enemy]
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[Annoyance: You asking me to compromise my dreams.]
[Response: At the end of the day, I have myself and what I've worked for, if so much. You can ask me to give up virtually anything and chances are, I might, but stay the hell away from my dreams or my ambitions because I have many and am well on my way to achieving them all. Deter me from my plans and you will not like the girl you have to deal with afterward. If I fall I will make it an entirely unpleasant experience for you.] |
....ET LA MÉLODIE À LAQUELLE ELLE A DANSÉ
I like what I write best to, what inspires me. This shit happens to be it. It's a random list:
Okkervil River, Spoon, The Futureheads, Rachmaninoff, Modest Mouse, The Ting Tings, Cult of Luna, Handsome Furs, The Rakes, The Vines, White Rabbits, Sparklehorse, dEUS, Ben Folds Five, Positive Infinity, Juno Reactor, The Chemical Brothers, The Crystal Method, The Bronx, The Kooks, Mirah, Kaiser Chiefs, We Are Scientists, Paginini, TV on the Radio, Bloc Party, Liszt, The Bravery, The Cribs, Silversun Pickups, Shout Out Louds, The Fratellis, Pavement, The Walkmen, My Morning Jacket, Action Action, The White Stripes, Sunset Rubdown, Azure Ray, Tchaikovsky, Iron and Wine, Animal Collective, The Subways, Cold War Kids, Bjork, The Libertines, Suicidal Tendencies, In Flames, Of Montreal, They Might Be Giants, The Polyphonic Spree, Supergrass, Ok Go, Manic Street Preachers, Muse, The Hold Steady, Zeromancer, Earlimart, Arctic Mokeys, The Unicorns, The Fiery Furnaces, At the Drive In, Schubert, Yo La Tengo, Cake, The View, The Rapture, Gackt, Malice Mizer, Deftones, Atlas Strategic, The Flaming Lips, Pinback, Depeche Mode, Babyshambles, Nile, Lords of Acid, Notwist, Editor, Doves, Interpol, The Candy Spooky Theater, Metric, Grandaddy, Maximo Park, The Format, Jesca Hoop, Imogen Heap, the Smashing Pumpkins, Turin Brakes, The Octopus Project, Au Revoir Simone, Bat for Lashes, The Strokes, System of a Down, The Corals, Travis, Garbage, Pigeon Detectives, The National, The Magic Number, The Beatles, Blue Foundation, Razorlight, Placebo, MSI, Nirvana, Radar Bros, Eels, The Dresden Dolls, Marilyn Manson, Candlebox, Circle of Dead Children, Lamb of God, Cradle of Filth, Suicidal Tendencies, The Decembersits, NMH, Architecture in Helsinki, Mudvayne, Heaven Shall Burn, Trespassers William, NIN, Thrice, Peaches, Straylight Run, Jackoff Jill, Rammstein, She Wants Revenge, The Shins, Stars, The Cure, The Kovenant, Epica
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![Me and one of my best friends for life, Kaitlyn. I love her =] This is the day of MORP (prom)](http://pics3.vampirefreaks.com/S/Su/Sug/SugarcoatedSunshine/32309470_s.jpg)
