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Latest Journal Entry: Ya'll bitches need Jesus January 23, 2013, 06:45pm
This is a story about a girl who despite everything - made it. And in the end became a strong, independent woman.
Heritage: My mother is a full-blooded islander [Hawaiian], my father was black and Puerto Rican. Which created me. A Hawaiian Black Puerto Rican. HBPR for short. Or at least that's what my grandmother and friends call it.
Work: I'm honest about the jobs I've done. When I was younger the first job I had was babysitting kids around town then as I got older I moved on to working fast-food like Burger King and McDonalds like everyone else. But I had a period in my life where I believed I wasn't intelligent enough to accomplish going to college or doing what I wanted to which was cosmetology. So I went with what I had going - which was a big old butt, small waist, and a nice smile. I became an exotic dancer and I did that for a few years until recently. There is really no better way to learn how to handle people than to be up there and know just how truly evil, filthy, and selfish people are. You can see everyone's demons. Husbands who'd rather come watch you than go home to their wives. Men with no respect for females. All you are is another body for them to get off inside. Men so desperate to be touched by a woman that they would do terrible things to her. It gets terrifying and a lot of night I've slept with a loaded gun under my pillow, or pepper spray and switch-blade in my pocket or my purse. And the way people look at you or the things people think of you. You never really get over it. You can never really live it down. I'm not at all proud of that job. But you have to make the best of your surroundings and I did. I made great money. Made a lot of friends. And had plenty of good times to level out the bad. I don't sleep with people for money. I do what all of us do ever day and night at some point. Which is take off our clothes. The only difference is when I do it there is someone else watching me, and I do it in a way that builds strength and appeals to people's desires. And I make money. People tell you the strangest stories there. But I had a close call in October and thought my boyfriend and I were expecting. It got me to thinking - I wanted to do something my children would be proud of. So they wouldn't have to grow up the way I did or be afraid that mommy won't come home or there may be a strange man hiding out in the bushes out front taking photos. So I started school for massage therapy and graduated recently but I'm going back in August for full cosmetology and already have a new job at one of the top spas in Oahu.
Sexuality: Women, men, transgender. I hold no preference nor judgement. What matters most is the way you treat me. Because once you're old and can't get it up to play sex is just another strenuous activity. The right person makes it worth having, but they should also make it okay when you don't. I want someone who captivates me in all areas of life. I want honesty even when it hurts. I want respect. Because I'll give you both. And would it hurt to add in a little romance? I don't think so.
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