My name is Robert Byers. I am a San Louis obispo native, a Vegan sympathizer, a gamer by day and come nightfall I am a vampire haha. I am suspicious of religion, advertising and know-it-alls. My teeth will one day fall out from over consumption of licorice. My closest friend on the Earth is a cat that lives in my head. I sleep diagonally until I have company, then I sleep lengthwise. I am straight, yet I adore sparkling mineral water. I have a bionic right leg as a result of a freak gardening accident. My right eye goes lazy after about 3am. If you feed me after midnight, I multiply. I live in a house that at one point in the 1900's was a working brothel. As a result, the ghosts of under paid and over worked prostitutes roam my hallways. So, there is a lingering smell of cheap perfume in my home after 3am, which might explain my occasional lazy eye. don't feel bad for me; I have sorbet parties at every Equinox and spend about half a day thereafter happily cleaning the 'sticky' out of my fingernails. My right knee is named Chet and my left is Garrison. Everything I wear once belonged to someone else with the specific exception of socks and underpants well that's about it about me most of this is true but then again some isn't if you want to know anything about me that you might like to know just ask its easy.