Only daytime TV shows believe that Beverly Knight is one of our most treasured singers.
The most lonely feeling in the world is the receipt of a text, followed by the realisation that it is from your mobile service provider.
Jeremy Kyle, if you opened up his head, you would find a copy of the Daily Mail resting on a caps lock key.
Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
Male rape - for when giving him a kicking simply isn’t enough
Big Brother: For when watching tramps arguing in the park seems a little too high brow.
Remember kids, depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Time is a great healer, unless you're HIV positive.
Originality is the art of concealing your source.
There's no such thing as a free launch. Just ask NASA
You'd be surprised how fast a cat's life's run out when you have a hammer
I guarantee the time you are actually successful in kicking a pigeon, you will have a large audience who will shake their heads and come for you.
A man would never report a flasher to the police!
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