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About Me
Signed up in 2004, had fancy self-made layouts, bought premium membership, got featured, created and joined cults, met new friends and been away for months... guess I've had a bit of VF-history, so don't be surprised if I don't check back every day...
A bit of VF sociology for your entertainment TOP CRAP ON VF - beware!!!
"I'm a very opinionated person and I know everybody on this site thinks that I'm a spoiled little brag... " - well, first of all, I highly doubt anybody thinks of you at all, secondly I don't think that sticking your nose into stuff that's none of your business and never listening to others makes you an OPINIONATED person. It just shows that you're an ignorant, immature kiddo.
"I can spell every word in the dictionary/dictionerry." - that's not such a great achievment at the age of 15, hun'. 12 years ago it would have been a bigger deal though.
"I speak five languages and my IQ is 150, I have papers about it." - and in what way does it make you a better person? If you were emotionally intelligent, you wouldn't feel the need to let the whole world know about it anyway.
"I'm not a goth. I'm myself and I cannot be labelled." - yeah, and you're the only person who cannot be labelled in the whole universe, again. And why would you be a goth? Just because you wear black like millions of other kids who think Korn or Rasmus is "gauthique"?
"I went through plastic surgery when I turned 18 because I care about my appearance and I simply feel better this way, DEAL WITH IT / GET OVER IT." - No way, I think I will have sleepless nights because of this, right. I can't stop thinking of you - a complete stranger 20 thousand kilometers away from me - having plastic tits.
"This is my beloved boyfriend; don't try to steal him, he adores me. Hands off bitches, he is all mine!" - yeah, sure, every chick who gets to see a photoshopped picture of him would cross the ocean only to steal him from you. If he loves you so much, he wouldn't be enticed so easily anyway.
"Don't tell me I'm beautiful and unique because I know that. Don't say things like "nice profile, 10 for you", only leave me a comment if you have something intelligent to say." - well, yeah, first comments are usually written about the latest discoveries in cancer research or a Nobel-Prize winning essay on world peace.
"I don't need your stupid comments and new friends on VF. I'm the most popular girl in our area and I don't give a fuck what you rate me." - what makes this comment particularly genuine is that fact that it's usually pursued by the following remark:
"I'm a premium, bitch, I can see you!" - come on, for heaven's sake!!! You can't be serious!!! However, it can get even more childish, I've already seen the following remarkable threat:
"Don't mess with me: my brother has known Jet since kindergarten. / I have admins for friends." - OMG, I've already ordered a copy of the Holy Bible to be able to pray every night, I'm so damn afraid now.
"Don't ask me if I can help you with html because I will not help you, bitch. Get yourself a life" - it's a big, big shame, I really thought you're the only person in the whole world who knows what html stands for. Yeah, I cannot just google what I want or click "view source", I definitely ::::have to:::: ask for YOUR guidance as you are the ::::only:::: person who COULD help me -but of course you won't. I think I will hang myself now.
Now... did I leave anything out?
And here are my other Community Portal Pet Peeves
Dear friends, I just couldn't help myself and made a list of my absolute CPPP's, namely Community Portal Pet Peeves. These are the things that truly piss me off on myspace and other sites, so... well, you know who you are! XDD
- advertisement-ridden hackers (for heaven's sake, I only click on an ad if I want to support the site owner because he/she fucking deserves it, which obviously means that I'm not going to do that for an intrusive, pushy cocksucker I don't even know!!!)
- shallow artist-wannabes posting superficial blogs three times a day (with just a link – normally youtube – or some hoax-like repost in it)
- „please comment on my new pix" bulletins on myspace, AT LEAST five times a day
- kiddos adding photoshopped pictures of well-known paintings, referring to them as „their" art
- people who regularly visit your profile/blog and never ever comment, inc. real-life friends
- people who do not – from some sort of a strange reason – use punctuation of any kind
- people who add me on msn just because they want to know where I bought my skirt
- people who fucking repost everything without thinking first: many of these messages are fucking hoax-craps (I specially dislike the „Tom is closing myspace" and the „if you pass this on, you get a free iPod"-kind of messages)!
- friend collectors and picture stealers (how pathetic can you get? and how pointless that is?!)
- random acquiantances on iwiw who only accept add requests by their 20 close friends
- assholes on soulseek who do not allow more than two uploads per user (why does it disturb anybody, and what's the point of sharing files then???)
- when I see that ld50's „normal questions" thread only contains questions but never any answers (nobody actually gives a fuck abt the others)
- the funniest shit: the fact that the majority of VF admins tell you well in advance that you shouldn't bother them with:
· "problems with ratings or downraters · reporting users for nudity · complaining about other users · transferring your premium membership · transferring cult ownership · any other site-related problems"
so you begin to wonder why the hell they are actually site administrators if you're better off praying to God… *lmao*
And now... well, let's face the facts. I just looove surveys and quizes. The same applies to personality tests. Yes, I have a vein for psychology.
It was such a naive idea to make a survey with such complex, thought-provoking questions that I simply had to fill it. :) -lol- Now you really have an idea what I voted last month at the latest elections (and the same thing four years ago, by the way... at least I'm consistent in my views ;).
What is your stand on.....
Abortion?:
I'm pro-choice, though I could never do it, no matter what. It's still better than killing a newborn baby or letting a child suffer for long years. In certain cases, it may be the only solution for everyone involved.
Death Penalty?:
I'm against it, we cannot play god. Prison-life should be much tougher though and penalties much stricter.
Prostitution?:
It's a naive idea to take steps to demoulish it, it's the 'most ancient profession' after all. Let them do their job and control them more carefully to avoid diseases and try to stop AIDS.
Alcohol?:
Medicine if not abused or used in an addictive way.
Marijuana?:
Should be legalised, everybody can obtain it and it's natural. (Doesn't have effect on me though.) It's stupid you may be in danger due to the lack of control (somebody selling you bad homemade stuff) and it's silly the goverment loses tax on a product so widely-used.
Other drugs?:
A complex issue, the goverment's current attitude must be supervised for sure.
Gay marriage?:
Let them give the choice to do what they feel like doing as long as they don't hurt anybody. I give them my full support.
Illegal immigrants?:
Change immigration law or world economics. I personally do not care where my doctor was born as long as he is a good doctor.
Smoking?:
I hate it, people should be asked not to smoke in restaurants and public places, but not much we can do about it in this country where everybody smokes everywhere.
Drunk driving?:
Don't do it, as easy a that.
Cloning?:
It's a popular view to be against it, but think of it as perhaps the only thing that can save the life of a creature or a species (by changing its biological setting e.g. chromosomes etc) and you'll see it in a different light.
Racism?:
I have zero tolerance when it comes to this issue. Moreover, it lacks rationals, too.
Premarital sex?:
Oh come on, does this term still exist?
Religion?:
Essential for the community from the point of survival, no real spiritual background these days though. Might serve as a guidance for many at the same time.
The war in Iraq?:
Never should have happened.
Bush?:
Looks like a monkey.
Downloading music?:
As long as cds cost more than what you make a day, there's no solution for the problem. I try to support artists in every possible way though.
The legal drinking age?:
Ok, certain rules are needed, but nobody takes this one seriously. 21 for poor Americans is particularly stupid. It's up to your individual decision: I never got drunk before my 18th birthday. Simply didn't feel the need to.
Porn?:
Nothing special, it's hard to find truly exciting ones. Suggesting things, to me at least, is sexier than showing everything without boundaries.
Suicide?:
Only a surface solution that makes things even harder afterwards.
Being born on the 3rd day of the month is likely to add a good bit of vitality to your life. The energy of 3 allows you bounce back rapidly from setbacks, physical or mental. There is a restlessness in your nature, but you seem to be able to portray an easygoing, "couldn't care less" attitude.
You have a natural ability to express yourself in public, and you always make a very good impression. Good with words, you excel in writing, speaking, and possibly singing. You are energetic and always a good conversationalist.
You have a keen imagination, but you tend to scatter your energies and become involved with too may superficial matters. You are affectionate and loving, but sometimes too sensitive. You are subject to rapid ups and downs.
You're a person with unique ideas, big plans, and a zany outlook on life. Many people look to you for inspiration. People envy your creativity and "who cares?" attitude. They feel very ordinary next to you - and they usually are!
A true wordsmith - a master of words Original, spontaneous, and a true inspiration Highly energetic, up for any challenge Entertaining and engaging, both to friends and strangers
Idealistic and thoughtful, you have the mind and ideas to change the world. And you have the charisma of a great leader, even if you don't always use it!
The purpose of your life: saying truths that other people dare not say
Famous purples include: Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Susan B. Anthony
Careers for you to try: Political Activist, Inventor, Life Coach
You are spiritual, intuitive, and serene. People trust you to rescue them from bad situations, and you usually come through. While you are quite enlightened, you find that your path is very lonely.
When you are too violet: you can't connect to ordinary life or ordinary people
When you don't have enough violet: you lack wisdom and can't learn from the past
Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve
You stick with your friends no matter what, even if you feel like they're doing the wrong thing. You believe in letting people figure out their own path in life. It's not your place to interfere.
And part of your loyalty means that you'll do a lot for your friends. You definitely go the extra mile. You'll even do great things for friends without them asking. After all, that's what friendship is all about.
You are truly a friend for life. And you have friends you've known since you were a kid. Your friends can count on you to do a favor, remember a birthday, or just be there to listen.
Your friends need you most when: They can't turn to anyone else
You really can't be friends with: Fickle people who change friends quickly
Your friendship quote: "Friendship doubles your joys, and divides your sorrows."
You're quite impulsive, but you never are reckless. You qualify as a very spontaneous person, but you still know how to honor your commitments. And while responsibility doesn't come easy to you, having fun does!
You craft words well, in creative and unexpected ways. And you have a great talent for evoking beautiful imagery... Or describing the most intense heartbreak ever. You're already naturally a poet, even if you've never written a poem.
You are a great communicator. You have a real way with words. You're never at a loss to explain what you mean or how you feel. People find it easy to empathize with you, no matter what your situation. When you're up, you make everyone happy. But when you're down, everyone suffers.
You are a happy, well-balanced person who likes people and is liked by others. You question whether many conventional views on morality are valid under all circumstances. You are essentially a content person.
Sometimes, you consider yourself a little superior. You are moral by your own standards. You believe that morality is what best suits the occasion.
At your darkest moments, you feel vulnerable. At work and school, you do best when you're comparing things. When you love someone, you tend to like to please them.
In friendship, you are loyal to one person. Your ideal careers are: sales, police officer, newspaper reporter, inventor, poet, and animal trainer. You will leave your mark on the world with inventions, poetry, and inspiration.
You are sensitive and intuitive, with others and yourself. You are creative and dreamy... plus dramatic and unpredictable. You're emotionally honest, real, and easily hurt. Totally expressive, others always know exactly how you feel.
(You are more dramatic than 30% of the population.) You're not over the top dramatic, but you have your moments. You know how to steal the spotlight... And how to act out to get your way. People around you know that you're good for a laugh. But at times, your drama gets a bit too much for everyone. Tone it down a tad, and you'll still be the center of attention.
You scored as Idealist. Idealism centers around the belief that we are moving towards something greater. An odd mix of evolutionist and spiritualist, you see the divine within ourselves, waiting to emerge over time. Many religious traditions express how the divine spirit lost its identity, thus creating our world of turmoil, but in time it will find itself and all things will again become one.
You are VNV nation.VNV nation is a 2 man group. Ronan Harris has an Amazing voice. Their lyrics mostly deal with Anti War issues and or Futuristic type shit. One of the most inspirational industrial bands today ,although they could easily be classified as Techno.
You are Ronan Harris of VNV Nation. You have probably single-handedly sold more Access Virus synthesizers than their entire marketing campaign. Your reused presets leave everything you do sounding almost identical, including your remixes and production for other bands. You carry a sword, you carry a sword (through a battlefield).Take this quiz! Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code
Click here to see me being a featured member of VF! :))
This little short story-like thingy is by me. I didn't add it because I think it'd be a masterpiece, but simply because it tells a lot about me, therefore it belongs to my profile.
Fragile
Peacefully and calmly, the kitten sat at the entrance. Nobody knew how it ended up there, but it seemed to be at ease with its new location. People passed by with morning-scurry in their eyes, no one gave a thought about the tiny visitor. The little thing appeared to be utterly alone, yet in a cheerful mood. Its hair was scruffy and windswept. Red and white, with brown stripes, it clearly derived from an ethnically diverse family, I concluded.
Carefully, I decided to approach the kitty, knowing that I might scare him away. He did not move, in fact he let me take him in my laps as though we had been long-term buddies. I could easily touch him, hold him, play with him. He seemed to trust me from the very first moment I made a step in his direction.
He was so small that I could comfortably have him sit in my two palms. Light as a feather, he looked at me playfully with his freshly-opened eyes. I could feel his soft skin and the warmth of his tiny body.
All of a sudden, a wave of fear crossed my stomach. It hit me as I realized how vulnerable he actually was. Just a bad move, and I can hurt him, crash him, destroy him … within a second. Too easy to harm such a fragile little creature.
But the kitten had no awareness of these thoughts. He continued the game with me, happily and without a care for the world. The notion of fear had not yet made its footprint in his genes, his consciousness was still free from pain and hurt. His instincts had not yet warned him about human cruelty; he had never encountered the experience of being the weakest, being the vulnerable. Just one touch, an unintentional slip of the finger, and he may fall.
A sudden surge of strange sadness started to take control of my mind. It began to dawn on me how much I have in common with my new friend. Oh so many times, I take part in the beautifully coloured games of my life passionately and playfully, without even considering the possibility of being hurt. I give out all I have, I show myself without hiding…often to an audience that is not worthy of gaining an insight of my innermost world.
I have had my share of disappointment and refusal. I’ve tasted the flavour of deception and fraudulence. I had to learn the art of letting it go. I’d been rejected and denied by people I gifted with my trust and intended to give a lot. All these years have taught me to swallow my rage and taste its wisdom. The things I’ve been through gave me a lesson of putting aside unnecessary pride, but not dignity. My door is open, but I…I know how to protect what I have inside.
The war is over, no need to fight.
Some more pictures of me and some beautiful lyrix going with them...
::::::::2005::::::::
"With this line I'll mark the past as a symbol of beginning..." (VNV Nation: Solitary)
"Only the shadow remains. Only the shadow of doubt. Three years of memories...memories without a sight. The end of another year, how will I survive? How suddenly fear begins in a bedroom on a floor..." (Xymox: In A City)
Dream yourself Dream yourself awake and never look down
Remember the life you're living is created in your soul and what is real should never feel alien to the world (The Crüxshadows: Dream Yourself Awake)
"Have I no control, is my soul not mine? Am I not just man, destiny defined? … So why do I love when I still feel pain? When does it end, when is my work done?" (VNV Nation: Joy)
"It's not that I embrace the end: it's simply that I feel too deeply towards what I see around me. But this is not escape: this is my way..." (Faith and the Muse: Prodigal)
"Living by the book, I say would drive me insane..." (Clan of Xymox: The Child In Me)
"Refusal of taking keeps me from giving..." (Deine Lakaien: Fighting the Green)
"Inside there is gentleness. Calm preceding tears. Cry again, cry again. Moment of toil." (VNV Nation:Frika)
"It's fragile work to keep your dream But the older that we get the farther they seem Don't give up, don't give out, don't give in You've come this far, does it matter if they never let you in Always on the outside And all eyes turn away All eyes turn away." (Faith and the Muse: Whispered in Your Ears)
"There are lessons that sadness can only teach. There are things that we must learn. Now I won't die if you walk away. But I may not live..." (The Crüxshadows: Walk Away)
"And one day I woke to find The future had no place for me I was unwanted in a world that with my hands I helped build Where once was honesty and pride I now stand broken and alone Just a shadow of what I was meant to be They say that "Time will heal" "The truth shall set us free" Well that depends on what it is that you choose to believe In this prison made of lies We see what it is we want to see And find comfort in this broken hall of dreams Does anybody feel the way I do? Is there anybody out there? Are you hearing me?" (VNV Nation: Holding on)
:::::::: 2004::::::::
"Live, love, be, believe..." (The Crüxshadows)
"In every dance no steps are placed And every path mistakes are made And if all paths lead but to the grave Then let us dance along our way..." (Faith and the Muse: Scars Flown Proud)
"What have you done to the game? Was it a victory or shame? Where have you gone before morning's dew? The game would not end without you..." (Deine Lakaien: The Game)
:::::::: 2002::::::::
"Blue hair like the sea...What about you and me?" (Clan of Xymox: Number One) At Vooodoo. Feel free to greet me when you see me like this.
:::::::: 2000::::::::
"When I was a child I knew I would never die -like an unknown god that was watching through my eyes- and I was strange and I was old, watched the future past unfold..." (Faith and the Muse: Prodigal) "I guess the child in me defines the way I see.." (Clan of Xymox: The Child In Me)
Likes
daydreams. deviant beauty. dark parties. nightlife. writing , the smell of the sea. hot summer nights. Berlin. Prague. Amsterdam. Bolków. Leipzig. Ljubljana. London. Vienna. bohemian lifestyle. my artistic, creative friends. hair extensions. spiky hair. garlic. onion. pizza. chocolate. túrórudi. redwine. absynth. vodka. tears. freaks. weirdos. long letters. fat mail. deep talks. gentle strength. spirituality. spiritual awareness. sensitivity. sensuality. creativity. gothic lifestyle. going n2 extremes. obsession. infatuation. intoxication. adventures. Star Wars. translating. swimming in drowning thoughts. deep emotions. inspiration. my muses. liberty. gigs. fests. travelling. trains. making up my own stories. dreams. my dreamworld. candles. incense. redwine+close friends in my room. Emily the Strange. expressing myself. performances. collecting pictures. Paulo Coelho. Oscar Wilde. Lord Byron. R+M. Monica Richards. Daniel Keyes. Radnóti. Pilinszky. Csáth G. Karinthy. intelligent movies. diaries. journals. autobiographies. 80's. heavy cd swaps. cool bootlegs. flyers. openminded+wise people. thought-provoking discussions. eyeliners. puppies. slams. decos. fbs. forums. cults. being an überspammer in cults (but only if they are inspirational and interesting ones ;)). nature. rain. smiles like heaven. holding hands. warm hugs. psycholinguistics. sociology. Deutsch (ja, Du kannst auch auf Deutsch schreiben, wenn Du möchtest; ich mag die Sprache). film nights with Mladen and co. my room. our precious Gothic Family. dark humour. picture comments. acting like a camera whore every once in a while (it's not that I find myself partiularly beautiful, it's just that each picture :::captures a moment:::...now, that's an idea that fascinates me). digital photography. photos. long private messages from people I love. violins. bassguitars. staying awake all night with visions so unreal. abysmal thoughts. openmindedness. sleeping. abstract poetry. sharing my world with likeminded ppl. being the one I am. sweet secrets. my dad and my family of course. making long lists about my crap+answering questions in general :D....
I love browsing profiles as it's interesting to get a little insight of other people's life and way of thinking. I like long and detailed profiles, but of course it's never the length that matters in the first place. :) Home, sweet home I love to be at home...
...my favourite poem... This poem means a lot to me, so I thought I would share it with you. =)
Fade And Remain (by Monica Richards, Faith and the Muse)
And if I'd the spell to claim your existence Your clandestine thoughts; your soul's soft persistence I'd follow the mirror aglow with your image Your water-grave eyes and your lingering fragrance But unknown by you; lost in the shadows I Fade and Remain Love incarnate; mere irreligion I Fade and Remain Oh my kind can dwell with infinite patience My reverie thoughts have traveled great distance Yet deign I embrace you with meek adoration Your fragile humanity rised with contrition Love incarnate; lost in perfection You Fade and Remain Youthful; Timeless; Deification You Fade and Remain
...Pic taken from mercyground.com (Monica)
And of course I love my fellow Electro_Zoners:
And of course... let's promote our horror-art theatre, too... visit us! YAY!
A funny picture of us drugs after the Trip to Marilyn performance. After the Hellraiser performance at K6
My Beloved :) <3
And yes, I also love making and getting signs. =) If you make me one, I will gift you with another one, obviously. =)
...my Sárka, known as TousledBirdmadGirl a beautiful, sensitive, crazy soulsister, my best friend...All the incredible things we’ve done together…:)
... Árpi my number one Teddy Bear with velvet eyelashes, we do everything together...:) Plays in the band De Facto, used to play in the Cure Tribute band Pornography, and several other projects in the Hungarian dark underground scene...
Emke , a crazy-sweet artistic Alice from Wonderland, known her since 1997. :) A great party person as well.
...my electro-mouse Nadine,a beautiful, sensitive, intelligent creature Nadine here on VF …
... one of my favourite Amsterdam dollies Jenny who has just deleted her from VF...yet I will keep her in this box because she is adorable and I've met her here. :) ...
... a sweet party-queen whose profile is definitely worth checking out...:) *wink* Sis ...
...sweet Gaby whom I finally managed to meet this summer in Bolków and in Budapest Gaby ...
...my sweet Mansonka (who is not into Manson in the first place but is more of a punk-rocker girl... Moreover, she's been a great of mine for...over 6 or 7 years...:) We don't get to meet a lot, but she writes the longest and most substantial letters in the world :) Mansonka5 ...
...my dear xymox brother Mike from the US :) Mike ...
...this beautiful young lady is Dóri...who has a pretty handwriting and a big heart! :) Dóri ...
...an übersweet Electro_Zone boss straight from Ibiza! :) Laura ...
...a beautiful lady and a great person from the distant Chile which is in many ways Hungary's neighbour country... Maria ...
a truly unique and compassionate creature who is great to talk to Rigeck ...
...we're definitely going to go to a Frozen Autumn gig together one day! :D ^^ Ephiee ...
...and someone sweet from the Holy Land who never spares energy to "nurture my feminine ego" :D <3 Johnantan ...
a sweetheart I've known for quite a while and she's new to VF... 100% nongoth and cute Zuzie ...
...my Linda, one of my oldest close friends, we’ve been through a lot since 1988 :). She is a marvelous artist and I’m proud of her artwork. ;-)
…My Csilla, owner of the most beautiful eyes ever, the most dedicated German teacher...We will have our own language school one day, for dark/goth/weird creatures :)...
...Eszter...my beautiful artistic friend since 2000, though this is the first time I finally have a picture of her...Wise and great to hang out with...
...Hajni... Friendship :::established in 1984:::! :D Yeapp, a kindergarten friend, and we still meet every other day. She has absolutely nothing to do with the dark-electro-goth scene, but she is a sweetheart!
...Szonja...my sweetest fellow-'bloodsucker drama queen' sister (nevertheless all women are drama queens, lol), a true likemind in other respects as well :)
.....my Gari, we did a number of crazy things back in 1997, and we are still not quite normal...
:::::::”With hair so high, clothes so black, we are one…”:::::::::
Sweetest_Poison, Louise, TousledBirdmadGirl, partying at Voodoo, Hungary, 2004
Morgue, TousledBirdmadGirl, Arpi_DeFacto and a nice guy in Bolków, Poland, 2004
TousledBirdmadGirl and Louise at a toilet in Prague, Czech Republic, 2004
A wild party with Garnéla, Kék Yuk, Budapest, Hungary, 2004
Me, Csilla and Ági in Zöld Pardon, Bp, Hungary 2005.
Emke, myself, Muru, Gyár, Bp, Hungary, 2005
Sex and drugs and rock'n'roll. The groupies and the porn producer, lol
Teddybear and myself in my room, 2005
My kitten and me in Prague, Czech Republic, 2005
Dislikes
::: what hurts me the most these days is THE LACK OF RESPECT:::. people without respect and/or the slightest sense of humour. people who think they are superior just because they never smile (and yes, humour is complete truth). narrowminded philistines. security guards. early mornings (before 12 am). vampyre-wannabes. clishés in poetry. r'n'b. elevator music. expectations. prejudice. cigs. arrogance. conceited losers. ignorance. being ignored. people who claim themselves to be oh-so-goth whereas they don't seem to know *any* dark/goth bands (it's not that I would judge anyone according to music taste, but hey, come on...) war. racism. radical political views. guns. spiritually superficial ppl. kids who think that running around and calling themselves "bi" or "gay" makes them cooler. too many test results in profiles. when the dj plays 500 songs by NIN-SkinnyPuppy-Manson-Murderdolls and the rest (sorry). Trent Reznor. Valor. if people think I'm into Manson. when people don't give a fuck about correct spelling (is it something ultra-trendy nowadays? I truly wonder...). this typical childish attitude that satanism is about expressing one's true self :D. bigot Christians. dogmas. hypocrites. silly beauty cults on VF (or am I just getting old? lol). emptiness. jealousy... oh, how I hate to feel jealous. satanism and negative, destructive, superficial things in general...
I'm not particularly happy about the direction the so-called dark/goth scene is heading to. OK, I'm not an elitist or "gothier than thou", but I'm sick and tired of these third-rate electro-techno-trance-dancy projects. Most of these new formations lack originality and deep self-expression...so I ask myself: in what way are they different from the usual mainstream crap on TV? On the other hand, I do love plenty of ebm/electro/indust/future pop acts, so I'm not saying that anything that sounds a bit more up-beat is shitty. No. It's just that it became too easy to produce music at home with the help of a good computer, and there are some people who think about MUSIC as another nice hobby, or even a new source of income... And it doesn't always lead to the best results.
Of course it's not my task to tell who is "goth" or who isn't (I don't like labelling anyway), but it's been quite a surprise to me that most people on this site lack the slightest idea about the actual genre "darkwave-gothic". Of course there is nothing wrong with Korn, Rasmus, Slipknot, Murderdolls, Manson, HIM, Metallica, Cannibal Corpse etc., (I even like a number of songs by these bands myself), but it's an obvious fact that they are NOT gothic bands. (I love blue eyes, yet I'm aware of the fact that my eyes are not blue.) So it just made me ponder why so many of these kids here claim themselves to be oh-so-goth once they listen to the above mentioned bands and nothing else. I personally think that the gothic subculture does not lie in mere externalities, but it definitely includes the *culture* (music and other artworks).
To be completely honest with you guys, I'm not too keen on this cutting-being emo-writing suicide notes-trend either, but I would never harrass anybody for being emo or an attention whore in general. These people are not evil, they are simply immature and act childish. They do not yet know what the word "responsibility" means, but don't worry... they will definitely grow up one day. It pisses me off like crazy when ppl think goths are supposed to be depressed and pessimistic all the time. To me, the dark scene is about a certain kind of sensitivity...Sensitivity towards joy and love as well as towards pain and hate. And it's natural that other ppl have other ways to express themselves...I'd never want to change anyone's mind about life or death... I can be damn sensitive when it comes to my favourites...argh! Music is more than music to me, so I often feel insulted when people make rude comments about the stuff I like. I hate the feeling of being ignored... OK, I wouldn't say I need to be in the center of attention all the time, but...respect is important. "I can stand the change but not the cruelty..."(CXS) - I hate rude people. I hate people who hurt others because they are insensitive, selfish and narrowminded. Another thing I have a strong dislike for is when people write looooooooong lists of what kind of comments they hate and won't reply. Come on, do you SERIOUSLY think that ... a, any meaningful conversation has ever ::::STARTED:::: by discussing innermost feelings, sharing deepest secrets or exchanging ideas about highly philosophical subject matters????? OR b, are you convinced that you are so fuckin' important that it would hurt you to say "hey, thanks"?????????? Come on, kids...grow up! Another thing I truly hate from the bottom of my heart is Magyar Posta (Hungarian Post). Any pigeon is more trustworthy than them, they lose and steal everything all the time, or you have to wait ages to receive your mail. They even stole my VF premium membership fee in September, and now I have to wait until April to find out who stole it (so much about registered letters). I wish I could do without them, but until international online paying is not possible for ordinary people, I must rely on these bastards. :P Fuck them! *feels better now*
11th February 2006. The end is good, all is good. After 5 months, the Post gave my money back. I obviously didn't dare to mail it again, so I asked a family friend who lives in Germany and possess a credit card to get it done for me. Finally. :D