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LMAObutts
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Latest Journal Entry: gdfgdfgd January 07, 2009, 01:59pm
Profile: Smile-if you can. All this is, is a collection of bones, a selection of forms filling space. Nothing special, nothing more than an image, sunken solid onto the concrete. I've created this all. My face will never mirror what is sunken below my flesh. Eyes do only but deceive. Your direction less interest doesn't satisfy me,and it never will. I value intelligence, integrity, passion, and authenticity. If you have none of which, don't even bother. I fear change, and I'm rarely ever satisfied Everything you say, can and will be held against you. This is my game, and I play. And to live, you must walk in the blood that you bleed. You have learned nothing. I've painted my whole life with my own shattered fingers. I live a promise. How many times have you tried to talk to someone about something that matters to you, tried to get them to see it the way you do? And how many of those times have ended with you feeling bitter, resenting them for making you feel like your pain doesn't have any substance at all? Like when you've split up with someone, and you try to communicate the way you feel, because you need to say the words, need to feel that somebody understands just how pissed off and frightened you feel. The problem is, they never do. 'Plenty more fish in the sea,' they'll say, or 'You're better off without them,' or 'Do you want some of these potato chips?' They never really understand, because they haven't been there, every day, every hour. They don't know the way things have been, the way that it's made me, the way it has structured my world. They'll never realize that someone who makes you feel bad may be the person you need most in the world. They don't understand the history, the background, don't know the pillars of memory that hold me up. Ultimately, they don't know me well enough, and they never can. Everyone's alone in their world, because everybody's life is different. You can send people letters, and show them photos, but they can never come to visit where you live. Unless you love them. And then they can burn it down. I still don’t fully understand my existence; nor will I pretend to. But I thrive on the fact that I’m here and living. Don't let other people's eyes be your cage. “Now, in our culture we've been trained for individual differences to stand out, so you look at each person and you meet this kid and immediately he’s, brighter, dumber, older, younger, richer, poorer and we make all these different dimensional distinctions, put them all in categories and treat them that way, and we get so that we only see others as separate from our selves in the ways in which they're separate, and one of the dramatic characteristics of this experience is being with another person and suddenly seeing the ways in which they are like you, not different from you, and experiencing the fact, that which is essence in you, and essence in me is indeed one, and understanding that there is no other, it is all one.” Likes: Dislikes: Favorite Music:
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