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There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition and of unspeakable love.
Hey. I'm Josh.I'm a stern believer that life is cruel, I believe life is what we make of it, and I try my hardest to make the best of it but it's beginning to dawn on me just how miserable I am.I've fucked up about 90% of my childhood so far, fantastic, but I'm going to try and fix it I'm fixing it. I also have a bad habit of bottling things up and not talking about them, I don't know how to deal with things. I dislike sympathy though, I'll figure things out, I don't need people worrying about me like they have lately. I find it hard to believe in love, I just don't care anymore,maybe one day someone will prove me wrong I've been proven wrong <3but I doubt it.Life is pretty hollow for me lately. People telling me my problems are just excuses. Luckily they've probably never felt what I have, having everything catered to you must be nice, I don't know the feeling. I'm far from spoiled. Please don't label me, I act and dress however the hell I want, I don't need some twat telling ME what I am, because I'm simply me. I stand up for myself. I wish life wasn't such a huge popularity contest, I wish looks weren't such a huge factor in todays society. I wish there weren't stereotypes. But all that is just a pipe dream.
About me? There's so much to say that it's almost not worth writing it down. I'm a thinker, a lover, and care too much for my own good. But ironically at the same time, I'm a cynic, a borderline sadist and hate nearly everyone I don't know. Don't take it personally, people just haven't proved to me their worth anything. I think and analyze everything far too much, I can see right through people. I had to "mature" early in life, no ones fault, life just lays out and you roll with it. I tend to fuck things up a lot without meaning to, and it's pretty damn frustrating. Over the years I've changed dramatically, several times. I can make hugs pretty awkward says Alex haha, and then I've been told I hug great. I can be conceited. I have a photographic memory, I can read things by skimming and my mind just puts it together. I have a passion for music, it's amazing how quickly real music can change ones emotion so quickly. I had a rough childhood, but who didn't these days? I'm different, and like it, I'm just me... I don't try and hop on some stereotype bandwagon to fit in, I dress and act however the hell I want, anyone who knows me can tell you that. I used to let people walk all over me, and still occasionally do. I'm not materialistic, I'm not spoiled and don't get whatever I want, and I'm fine with that. I love cats. I smoke and wish I didn't now. I'm probably one of the nicest people you will ever meet, I just have a tough outer layer and a soft inside. I'd give you the shirt off my back if it fit you. I don't give out second chances very often however, only if they deserve it, and really do. Fuck me over and you won't hear from me again. I don't pick fights with people, I avoid drama. Drama isn't worth my time, this isn't third grade, I try and stay lax. I believe the human mind is capable of so much more than what today's society uses it for, such a waste. I'm shy. I don't talk much unless I want to. I'm so indecisive it's not even funny. I'm a procrastinator. A perfectionist and imperfect. I cry. I'm emotional, it's only human. I don't cheat. I'm not shallow, looks are nice but not even close to everything. I don't say "I love you" unless I really mean it. It's hard for me to care about people, but when I do I would go to all lengths to keep you and make sure you're happy, even if it means sacrificing my own happiness. I'm geeky. I tend to be annoying, and then tend to make people laugh. I hate fake people, ew breast implants, It's better to be you and fail than pretend to be someone you're not and succeed. I can be brutally honest. The truth hurts less than being lied to and finding out for your own. I'm a listener. My shoulder has been cried on more than most. I lead people on sometimes because I'm too nice, sorry. I'm not a user. I don't date someone unless I feel something real, that goes for the other person too. I hate these social networks, don't even know why I stay on them. I will finish this some other time, should be enough for now.
Labels disgust me, but people who try to fit these stereotypes for attention or to fit in disgust me even more, it's better to fail at originality than to succeed in imitation. Be who you are, say how you feel, and you've earned my respect. Though, enough rambling.
-Much love
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Twas a cold evening, the boy walked down the snow covered roads, body aching from the cruel winter wind. He was determined, his heart was finally warm, for once in his miserable life, it finally saw true beauty, it finally felt what love was, oh what a mysterious emotion. His fingers frozen, they hurt but all of this did not matter, he wanted what his heart wanted... He sat there, the wind stopped, everything was silent but the beating of his heart, a mix of nervousness and excitement overcame him. He heard the footsteps, but couldn't muster up the courage to turn and look, but she confronted him first. Twas awkward, but they both smiled, and that was when their hearts and souls met, entwined together... true love, in such a bastard filled world. Blindness overwhelmed them, no longer did they see the bad, they only saw eachother. Time flew by so quickly with her it felt as if he blinked and she was telling him goodnight, he didn't want it to end, she didn't want it to end... she made her way back home and he walked down those cruel roads once more, he did not feel the pain of wind this time, his fingers numb, he did not care for such feelings, the only thing on his mind was her... Many more times did this boy walk to meet her, to hold her, to feel her warmth, to feel the touch of her lips... For once in his life he did not cry himself to sleep every night, for once he felt... happy. Days turned in to months, then something heartbreaking happened. No longer did they smile as much, life was stabbing it's hate filled knife in to their life. They began to fight, and disagree, and lie... They both wanted so much for it to be like that cold winter night, but they both knew what they once had was falling apart, dying... He wanted it to work so bad, frustration was all he knew. He became bitter, paranoid and most of all, hurtful. Nobody knows what happened to that boy, nobody knows what he feels now. I'll tell you what he feels... Hollow. And so the butterflies died... they lived a good life. They shared laughter... they shared pain... but most important of all, they shared love...