Mah Eye Kandi



Been so alone

wandering the streets
my soul, it defeats
I'm dying here
with nothing to fear

Walking down the path of death
thinking more with each new breath
Care free and careless
Might explain why my life's such a mess

The rain pouring down
leaving my heart to sink and drown
People running from the streets of rain
As i continue down the streets of pain

Tears going unnoticed as they fall
Feeling like I've hit the wall
I feel like I'm dying
I can't help it, I gave up trying

Your not here
And now I've everything to fear
I'm breaking down and going mad
And I realise how much I'm feeling sad

I need you here now
But I don't know how
To stop my tears and cuts on my wrists
To help prevent the blood dripping from my broken fists


History Repeating

Going down
Carrying my frown
Life is burning
Mind always turning

All over again
Like a blood coloured stain
Melting my head
Wanting me dead

Everyone's in constant disbelief
Without a sign of any relief
Will me, Thrill me, Kill me now
Do it your way, I don't care how

I look down from the window ledge
To see the sight of the broken thorn hedge
Memories going on and on
Constantly from dusk until dawn

Dying inside
Where everything hides
Locking up everything
So no longer my insides will sing

I give up on life
But with a crystal clear knife
Instead I hang here
Now with nothing to fear


Burning Away

Burning through my skin
Coming through from deep within
All out for the kill
I don't care, just give me the pill

Beaming down but hiding away
Almost afraid to see a new day
Skin is bubbling, consuming the pain
All these thoughts, they drive me insane

My skin colliding with the glass
Sooner or later, the pain will pass
My flesh being torn to shreds
This is the part everyone dreads

Blood is crawling, Blood is burning
As i see clearly, my life is turning
Blood flowing on the ground
Hoping soon that I will be found

Consuming me and taking me under
It's all beginning to make me wonder
What have I done to deserve all this?
What did I do? What did I miss?

I've had enough, I can't handle it all
I think I'll answer the burning light's call
I don't know where, I don't know how
All I know is that, You've lost me now


Scar Tissue

Looking upon
A brand new dawn
Shining down upon my scars
Twinkling like the brightest stars

Each one, a different length
Each taking, a different amount of strength
Carefully staring down at them
Treating them like a precious gem

People looking like I'm the freak
But I just don't believe in hide and seek
I wear my scars with pride
Why should I have to hide?

My arms are scratched until I can't anymore
But still I ain't ready to walk through Hell's door
Go on, laugh at me if you dare
Do what you want, I don't care

I'm sick of you just judging me
I don't care what you think of what you see
This is who I am
See if I give a damn

Nag, nag, nag, that's all you ever do
But then, everyone else does too
Check out my scar tissue and smile away
Because this is my favourite hobby to do each day


Wanting, Needing, Killing

Feelings consuming me
But no one else can see
No thought, no care
nothing at all, just stop and stare

Locking it in
Feeling the sin
Consuming it all
Watching as I fall

Posession of my heart
Is being ripped apart
I can't handle it
I'm just not fit

The blood's on my hands
As the knife drops and lands
What have I done?
This doesn't seem like alot of fun

I curl in the corner, wondering why
Why can't it all, just hurry up and die
I hate this feeling
Wanting, Needing, Killing, how am I dealing?

In the last few seconds it all becomes clear
that i have nothing more to fear
I'll close my eyes and dream away
For never again, will I see the light of day


let me out of here!

All these thoughts in my head, each one compressed
I need to let it all out maybe i should confess
Insides screaming in agony and new fears
With each of these tears

Wanting out
To just run about
I'm so alone
Left in my little zone

Screaming at me
Falling to the ground for people to see
I can't handle this
What is it I miss?

More Eye Kandi

Burning away
Let me make it through today
I can prove I'm strong
Why are you doing this? I haven't done anything wrong

My flesh tearing from shred to shred
Make you wish that everything was just dead
All this torture and pain
Would drive anyone insane

Alone I leave myself here
Deep beyond the valley of fear
Hiding in the dark corners of my mind
What is it that I cannot find?

I've lost it all
I'm prepared for my fall
Goodbye cruel life
Say hello to my crystal clear knife


Confusion Delusion

Don’t know what is going on
Each time I wake at dawn
I need to know
Before I go

Am I supposed to be more than a friend?
Or is this truly the very end?
That we talk this way
The way I want it to stay

Lost in my confusion
Dying in my illusion
The stabbing pain in my wrist
Lead to the clutching of my fist

I don’t know what to do
Because all I want is you
Do I kill myself to make you see?
Or do I live in hope that we can be?

Travelling deeper into heart and mind
But I don’t know what I’m hoping to find
I want you, is that a crime?
And always will until the end of time

I’ve had enough
I’m no longer tough
I’ve decided to lie
And just let myself die


Heart of 1000 pieces

I curl here yet again
Feeling exactly the same pain
Picking myself off the ground
Trying to pick up all that’s found

An everlasting tear upon my cheek
For the happy past I seek
Crawling among the sorrow
In hope of a better tomorrow

It can only get better, right?
I can’t put up a harder fight
I’ve lost enough
I’m not eternally tough

I’m sick and tired
And feeling un-admired
What was once alive and as peaceful as a dove
Is now a miserable, rotten corpse without love

Picking the pieces off the floor
As I once again crawl through the door
Through the door of depression
Through the tears of aggression

Someday, someone will come along
And won’t treat me wrong
They’ll show love and affection
And give me hope and protection

My heart spread around the room
Soon I will face my doom
Heartache consumes me
So let me die, goodbye and let me be!!!


Fields of death

Looking to the skies
As everything dies
The skies covered by black clouds and red
The thought of blood, the feeling of dead

Flowers wilted upon the ground
But all around there is no sound
Everything is so dark
Is this a sign of Satan’s mark?

Alone stands a mighty tree
For the whole world to see
Listen closely and you’ll hear it weep
Then you notice how far is deep

Corpses around, lying bare
No matter where you look, they are everywhere
Tearing me up inside
Help me! I need to confide

Blood falling from the sky
It’s hard to watch things fall down and die
Hard to handle this pain
With a blood marked stain

It never stops, we never win
We can’t defeat this evil sin
We will just have to live with this
As half our life we all will miss


Stained Teardrops

Memories flooding back
All signs of hope I seriously lack
I’m hallucinating and alone
Hidden in this toxic zone

The barb wire twists
Deep across each of my broken wrists
With blood dripping from my eyes
The pain builds up, the hatred ties

A goddess of lust
Soon turned to dust
Inner demons consuming inside
No longer will they hide

Numb the feeling
Prepared for the healing
Cycle repeating
Flesh taking a beating

I deserve more than this
I’m more than a couple of seconds of bliss
Yet here I sit tearing my hair out
Because you wouldn’t give me the benefit of the doubt

A permanent stained tear on my cheek
My broken heart I seek
I can’t take this anymore
It’s my time to walk out the door

Mah Ear Kandi

this again can vary as i am very fond of dancing so i listen to a wide range of music...i love bands like
[X] Adema
[X] Rasmus
[X] Rammstein
[X] nightwish
[X] good charlotte
[X] gwen stefani (well her song "What Are You Waiting For"
[X] Disturbed
[X] Greenday
[X] some CoF
[X] Within Temptation
[X] Lacuna Coil ~ Swamped
[X] Yellowcard
[X] metallica
Fightstar
[X] Evanescence
[X] HIM
[X] S.O.A.D
[X] some Slipknot
[X] Murderdolls
[X] Avril Lavigne (i knw but i cant help it)
[X] Guns 'N' Roses
[X] AFI ~ Girls Not Grey
[X] some JoJ (especially Strawberry Gashes)
[X] Three Days Grace
[X] Spineshank
[X] some KoRn
[X] Nickelback
[X] 36 Crazyfists ~ Bloodworks
[X] Panic Cell
[X] Alice Cooper ~ Poison
[X] some Blink 192
[X] some Creed
[X] Box Car Racer ~ There Is
[X] Dead Poetic ~ New Medicines
[X] Drowning Pool ~ Bodies
[X] InME
[X] Jimmy Eat World
[X] some Manson
[X] Love Spit Love ~ How Soon Is Now?
[X] My Chemical Romance ~ I'm Not OK (I Promise) n Helena
[X] Papa Roach ~ Last Resort
[X] Violent Delight ~ All You Ever Do

[X] that it for now but i shall update again soon

Mah Top Ten Tunez

[1] Within Temptation - Angels

[2] HIM - Killing Loneliness

[3] Nickelback - Far Away

[4] Crematory - Caroline

[5] Lacuna Coil - Our Truth

[6] Seether - Remedy

[7] Rob Zombie - Dragula

[8] Bullet For My Valentine - All These Things I Hate

[9] Evanescence- My Immortal (Band Version)

[10] S.O.A.D - Chop Suey

Turn Ons

[X] Piercings

[X] Having my neck/kissin people's necks =)

[X] Tattoos

[X] cuddlez

[X] Muscles

[X] sexual people (Dan HeHe!)

[X] dress up =)

Turn Offs

[X] Beards (they hurt)

[X] Moustaches

[X] Mean People

[X] Liars

[X] No Dress Up

[X] People that hurt

Fav Movies

[X] hmmm thats a tough one...i like a range of movies...but my fav is probably Thirteen coz yeah its amazing!!!

[X] i love disney movies well the older ones...Alice In Wonderland im determined to believe was made for stoners coz yeah the caterpillar smoking summit...yeah n a pink n purple talking, always smiling cat...so not normal..

[X] i love movies to do with witchcraft n some horror even tho they mess with my head big style

[X] i really love comedy =)

Fav Books

[X] I'm not really a book person but

[X] i adore Shakespeare

[X] I love my book Born To Be Killers It's a book on the case studies of some real serious serial killers...it's amazing!!!