CONFESSIONS

I talk back at the television when I'm alone.

I evil-eye people on public transport if they gawp at me for too long

I've never felt comfortable in a swimsuit

I used to take pounds from the mantlepiece where my father left them and then ask my mother to exchange them for belgian money. Great business plan Shame I went bust.

I'm scared of dark water

You might never really know me

I want to believe in all the wrong things

I'm a constant warzone. You could say I'm a cloud with razorsharp edges or a fluffy blade. Either way, it never seems to make sense

I can peel an onion without crying

It hurt more than I thought it would

I can't whistle

I think about you all the time

I stop listening halfway through most people's sentences

Deep down I know I'll make it

I used to think factories were cloud-machines

I don't like seafood

I can become completely hysterical in certain situations

I am extremely talented at saying inappropriate things at the most inappropriate times

I am a total Phone Hazard. People who call me regularly are aware of this phenomenon

I am like the brightest light you've ever seen, but carry a sharp shadow

I used to have a total thing for Keanu Reeves and secretly I doubt it'll ever go away.

My habits need some serious washing