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"If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow... or be destroyed by the suffering as i am in"
Long shall be our suffering.. Joyous be our pain... [
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A shithole called Oslo, Norway
January 18, 2012
Last logged in:
March 03, 2014, 12:55pm
All things change in a dynamic environment. Why continually repeat a specific cycle simply to survive by avoiding the weaknesses of an unchanging system. Your effort to remain what you are is what limits you.
So what am i? Alternate sure... Weird indeed... Complex definitely... I am a living, thinking entity that was created in a sea of information. I collect information to use in my own way. All of that blends to create a mixture that forms me and gives rise to my conscience. A decade ago I used to refer to myself as a crossdresser, but over the course of years I have evolved into the appropriate term of a Drag Queen, or a proper freakshow* might be a more accurate term that most "normals" can relate to :D Fucking around with make-up and female apparel is not! something I see as an separate side of myself it is just a tiny fragment of my delicate makeup as a carbon based lifeform. My behavior patterns remain exactly the same regardless of what sort of shape, or form I chose to reveal myself in. You could say I am authentically androgynous by mind.
Because in my world gender is just a term without meaning..
I find most labels to be inconclusive. but! since labels are so crucial to most in this mundane society I find myself stuck in! well.. then you feel free to label me what the fuck you want for yourself. :)
I was condemned to Davy Jones locker at early age and was raised in an synthetic atmosphere as a bi-product to society.. Evaluated by "professionals" as an individual prone to excessive violence and considered a lost cause...
I was shut down for many years.. and during the period of self imprisonement i developed a formidable ability to adapt to my surroundings with my chameleon like appearance and many worn masks. Living out a life in this fashion came with a pricetag attached to it still.. As my emotions had to be suppressed daily in order for me not to
my closest and beloved ones by accidence by revealing my true creation..
The price i have to pay for operating in this state is latent depression.. But i sometimes still find a bizarre sense of sweet tasting comfort in tormenting myself mentally while operating in distress since it is only in this deep state of mind that can truly remind myself that i am alive inside...
" The tranquility of Happiness is a corruption
of the senses, and a delusion of the mind."
I seem incapable of sensing the feeling of joy or take pride in what i accomplish in life.. Victorious achievements always grants me the feeling of slipping further into eternal emptiness...
My destructive nature has over the course of years allowed itself to remain partially restrained by maintaining a elevated degree of self-control.. But my whole aura is still radiating with viciousness...
I am a falling stone in a world of glass.. i am a ticking bomb with a smiling mask...
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