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"If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow... or be destroyed by the suffering as i am in"
Status: Long shall be our suffering.. Joyous be our pain... [View Updates]
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Sex: other
Age: 33
Location: A shithole called Oslo, Norway
Status: Widow
Rating: 9.75
Rating points: 517
Member since: January 18, 2012
Last logged in: April 19, 2015, 03:07pm
Occupation: Graphic Designer
Account Status: Premium Member
Rated by: 53 people
Latest Journal Entry: Solitude - A poem by me   December 02, 2014, 01:00pm


All things change in a dynamic environment. Why continually repeat a specific cycle simply to survive by avoiding the weaknesses of an unchanging system. Your effort to remain what you are is what limits you.

So what am i? Alternate sure... Weird indeed... Complex definitely... I am a living, thinking entity that was created in a sea of information. I collect information to use in my own way. All of that blends to create a mixture that forms me and gives rise to my conscience. A decade ago I used to refer to myself as a crossdresser, but over the course of years I have evolved into the appropriate term of a Drag Queen, or a proper freakshow* might be a more accurate term that most "normals" can relate to. Fucking around with make-up and female apparel is not! something I see as an separate side of myself it is just a tiny fragment of my delicate makeup as a carbon based lifeform. My behavior patterns remain exactly the same regardless of what sort of shape, or form I chose to reveal myself in. You could say I am authentically androgynous by mind.

Because in my world gender is just a term without meaning..

I find most labels to be inconclusive. but since labels are so crucial to most in this mundane society I find myself stuck in! well.. then you feel free to label me what the fuck you want for yourself.

I was condemned to Davy Jones locker at early age and was raised in an synthetic atmosphere as a bi-product to society.. Evaluated by "professionals" as an individual prone to excessive violence and considered a lost cause...

I was shut down for many years.. and during the period of self imprisonement i developed a formidable ability to adapt to my surroundings with my chameleon like appearance and many worn masks. Living out a life in this fashion came with a pricetag attached to it still.. As my emotions had to be suppressed daily in order for me not to burn my closest and beloved ones by accidence by revealing my true creation..

The price i have to pay for operating in this state is latent depression.. But i sometimes still find a bizarre sense of sweet tasting comfort in tormenting myself mentally while operating in distress since it is only in this deep state of mind that can truly remind myself that i am alive inside...

" The tranquility of Happiness is a corruption
of the senses, and a delusion of the mind."

I seem incapable of sensing the feeling of joy or take pride in what i accomplish in life.. Victorious achievements always grants me the feeling of slipping further into eternal emptiness...

My destructive nature has over the course of years allowed itself to remain partially restrained by maintaining a elevated degree of self-control.. But my whole aura is still radiating with viciousness...

I am a falling stone in a world of glass.. i am a ticking bomb with a smiling mask...

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Graphic Designer
Height: 5’6″
Weight: 191 lbs
Tattoos: Four (Half-sleeve lower-arm left, upper-arm left, Chest left, Full sleeve right arm stretched down rear shoulder including lower-back )
Bodypiercings: Eight (Double Helix, Lower ear, Nostril)
Style: Glam/Horror
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Apr 18, 2015, 10:00pm
It's very deep and sounds genuine. "The price i have to pay for operating in this state is latent depression.. But i sometimes still find a bizarre sense of sweet tasting comfort in tormenting myself mentally while operating in distress since it is only in this deep state of mind that can truly remind myself that i am alive inside...

" The tranquility of Happiness is a corruption
of the senses, and a delusion of the mind."
~Dela "

Not many people have such remarkable ability to convey thoughts. Perhaps to introvert such as yourself it's not as hard. And as a fellow introvert, I can only agree with your inter observations. I'm generally a happy person but I have this deeply melancholic side I find hard to keep under control. Perhaps you can relate to that too, at least to a certain extent.

Hmm, a lot of my acquaintances and best friend are homosexual. I'm lgbt rights supporter but I don't think I belong in that social network, I only have enough time to maintain a profile on this one.

But it looks good and is really powerful blush. Sadly, Harley bikes are overly popularized among american rednecks with huge beer bellies. they are all old and fuzzy gooby. Gives one some bad associations and it's a bad starter bike. Don't want all that expensive steel to end being scratched and twisted on the road, do we now ;-)?. But V-Rod, damn daydream. You would look really cool riding it ;-).

No problem, I understand it's just difficult to me to mix several second languages lol. You can use whichever you prefer ;-).

I like Deviant art! I used to have a profile there when I played in Photoshop back in the day! Perhaps I could take a look at your art if you feel like sharing. Dark art has always been my weakness. It's one of the reasons why I find myself returning to this site even though in real life I'm just another career woman really.

I'm afraid I need to bid you a good night for now. It's been a real pleasure to have your company in this late hour though :-). Would you be interested to keep in touch then :-)?


Apr 18, 2015, 09:35pm
Tack :-). Fast man kan knappast jämföra den med din design och beskrivning *applause*. Vad duktig! Jag har inte tänkt mycket om vad jag skrev. Jag skrev bara om det som jag är ur de djupaste hörnan av mitt hjärta shrug.

Just det. Jag tror verkligen i det som jag skrev och inte ens försöker att dölja att jag inte gillar människornas sällskap. shrug. Att vara introver i ett värld som kan inte sluta prata.

Assh, facebook har jag tröttnat på för mycket länge sedan. Vad är Qruiser förresten?

Det är lite förvirrande att blanda olika främmande språk för mig, då byter jag till engelska ;-).

Just manuscripts for scientific publications, reviews to other manuscripts, some thoughts in my mother's tongue, trying to philosophical about life in modern age. Nothing special really, my writing resembles having a journal only a keeping it private.

All right, you got me there, I agree, I've been dreaming of getting myself a Dyna Glide but I'm afraid it's not feasible now that my daughter is in the picture ;-).


Apr 18, 2015, 09:22pm
Förresten, jag har varit i Oslo, mycket fint stad måste jag säga.


Apr 18, 2015, 09:20pm
Det gör ingenting, jag har läst din profil beskriving förrut, jag minns dig men tyvärr inte så mycket om dig.


Apr 18, 2015, 09:18pm
Neurofarmakology är mitt forskningsområde. Uppsala är ett litet stad, och ganska tråkig. Bra att bo i om man har en familj och barn. Annars så är det ingenting at göra här, tyvärr. Själv brukade jag resa till Sthlm flr clubbing och nattliv.


Apr 18, 2015, 09:10pm
Jag bor och jobbar i Uppsala som forskare men kommer ursprungligen från Serbien.


Apr 18, 2015, 08:53pm
Vi är grannar ju hyper! Nästan gooby


Apr 18, 2015, 08:13pm
Det var ingeting ;-), jag gillade din bild. Var kommer du ifrån?


Dec 20, 2014, 09:09pm
Takk så mye for fødselsdagshilsner! :-) Hvordan går det med lesingen? ;-)


Dec 09, 2014, 02:20pm
If I saw your work in a gallery I would want to buy it.