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"If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow... or be destroyed by the suffering as i am in"
Status: Man cries, his tears dry up, and run out. So he becomes a devil, reduced to a monster. [View Updates]
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Sex: other
Age: 33
Location: A shithole called Oslo, Norway
Status: Widow
Rating: 9.71
Rating points: 563
Member since: January 18, 2012
Last logged in: Invisible
Occupation: Graphic Designer
Account Status: Premium Member
Rated by: 58 people
Latest Journal Entry: I fucking love shoes <3   May 28, 2015, 06:19am


All things change in a dynamic environment. Why continually repeat a specific cycle simply to survive by avoiding the weaknesses of an unchanging system. Your effort to remain what you are is what limits you.

So what am i? Alternate sure... Weird indeed... Complex definitely... I am a living, thinking entity that was created in a sea of information. I collect information to use in my own way. All of that blends to create a mixture that forms me and gives rise to my conscience. A little over a decade ago I used to refer to myself as a crossdresser, but over the course of years I have evolved into the appropriate term of a Drag Queen, or a proper freakshow* might be a more accurate term in which the herd can relate to. Fucking around with make-up and female apparel is not! something I see as an separate side of myself, it is simply just a tiny fragment of my delicate makeup as a carbon based lifeform. My behavior patterns remain exactly the same regardless of what sort of shape, or form I chose to reveal myself in. You could say I am genuinely androgynous by mind.

Because in my world gender is just a term without meaning..

I find most labels to be inconclusive. but since labels are so crucial to 99% of the inhabitant of this mundane society I find myself imprisoned in! well.. then you feel free to label me what the fuck you want for yourself.

I was condemned to Davy Jones locker at early age and got raised in an synthetic atmosphere as a bi-product to society.. Evaluated by "professionals" as an individual prone to excessive violence and considered a lost cause...

I was shut down for many years.. and during the period of self imprisonment i developed a formidable ability to adapt to my surroundings with my chameleon like appearance and many worn masks, and iron maidens. Living out a life in this fashion came with a pricetag attached to it still.. As my emotions had to be suppressed daily in order for me not to burn my closest and beloved ones by accidence by revealing my true creation..

The price I have to pay for operating in this state is latent depression.. But I sometimes still find a bizarre sense of sweet tasting comfort in tormenting myself mentally while operating in distress since it is only in this deep state of mind that can truly remind myself that i am alive inside...

" The tranquility of Happiness is a corruption
of the senses, and a delusion of the mind."

I seem incapable of sensing the feeling of joy or take pride in what I accomplish in life.. Victorious achievements always grants me the feeling of slipping further into eternal emptiness...

My destructive nature has over the course of years allowed itself to remain partially restrained by maintaining a elevated degree of self-control.. But my whole aura is still radiating with viciousness...

I am a falling stone in a world of glass.. I am a ticking bomb with a smiling mask...

Premium Member
Graphic Designer
Height: 5’6″
Weight: 187 lbs
Tattoos: Four (Half-sleeve lower-arm left, upper-arm left, Chest left, Full sleeve right arm stretched down rear shoulder including lower-back )
Bodypiercings: Eight (Double Helix, Lower ear, Nostril)
Style: Glam/Horror
Path: Wiccan | Left-Hand
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May 29, 2015, 05:42am
41.5 is okay, you are still in the ladies size chart. Lucky you, I need to blend in at work. Fortunately there are stores selling items that can pass as somewhat alternative yet still casual enough to pull off as working attire. Agreed but you have to try things on first.
That's pretty much the only perk of being petite gooby. At least she didn't have trouble finding clothes, right. S and XS are always available. I'm guessing you divorced because she was jealous of your impressive shoe collection :-p.
Mainstream fashion in Scandinavia isn't as disappointing as in the rest of Europe, it's at least acceptable. At least you can leave clothing store without feeling like you've just won flamenco dance championship shrug. That in my opinion is major achievement.


May 28, 2015, 03:57pm
I'm not sure what is that in European size chart... 44? I'm wearing 39 so I have another problem, everyone else is 39 too so all the good stuff gets sold before I even decide I need a new pair of shoes. Not to mention most lady shoes are made for wider feet than mine. So it's not all perfect in the foot department for me either shrug. Hence, I'm still jellyz Y. I do have a friend who wears size 33, now she has a real problem, she can only wear girl's shoes lol, no heels, nothing. If she needs shoes to wear for special events, she needs to have them custom made which costs a lot of money from what I gathered.


May 28, 2015, 08:44am
lol It's a nice problem to have daydream. They suit you so well too, I'm a little jellyz actually Y


May 23, 2015, 04:33pm
I would try to kiss that nun, she doesn't look too bad gooby. Love to corrupt them prude religious ones shmoopy. I bet she swings both ways too gooby.


May 23, 2015, 08:09am
You think it's because he inverted it lol? I didn't notice that important detail, I was too occupied laughing at her reaction lol. All her prayers can't make a 3T magnet required to take out all the hardware that guy has, he's running out of skin. How do you think he passes metal detectors, traveling must be quite a challenge in his case.


May 22, 2015, 08:45pm
I was once at a fair,
and these Christian tools were trying to preach to me.
By saying prayers to give me enlightenment. XD

I said I could feel my organs twitch, and they said
it was Gods doing, and started praying for it to continue,
then it stopped, and when I said so, they were just staring with their mouths open. XD


May 22, 2015, 08:21pm
They had to pray to tell him where the bus stop was..?


May 06, 2015, 03:35pm


May 06, 2015, 03:20pm
very nice profile code!


Apr 18, 2015, 10:00pm
It's very deep and sounds genuine. "The price i have to pay for operating in this state is latent depression.. But i sometimes still find a bizarre sense of sweet tasting comfort in tormenting myself mentally while operating in distress since it is only in this deep state of mind that can truly remind myself that i am alive inside...

" The tranquility of Happiness is a corruption
of the senses, and a delusion of the mind."
~Dela "

Not many people have such remarkable ability to convey thoughts. Perhaps to introvert such as yourself it's not as hard. And as a fellow introvert, I can only agree with your inter observations. I'm generally a happy person but I have this deeply melancholic side I find hard to keep under control. Perhaps you can relate to that too, at least to a certain extent.

Hmm, a lot of my acquaintances and best friend are homosexual. I'm lgbt rights supporter but I don't think I belong in that social network, I only have enough time to maintain a profile on this one.

But it looks good and is really powerful blush. Sadly, Harley bikes are overly popularized among american rednecks with huge beer bellies. they are all old and fuzzy gooby. Gives one some bad associations and it's a bad starter bike. Don't want all that expensive steel to end being scratched and twisted on the road, do we now ;-)?. But V-Rod, damn daydream. You would look really cool riding it ;-).

No problem, I understand it's just difficult to me to mix several second languages lol. You can use whichever you prefer ;-).

I like Deviant art! I used to have a profile there when I played in Photoshop back in the day! Perhaps I could take a look at your art if you feel like sharing. Dark art has always been my weakness. It's one of the reasons why I find myself returning to this site even though in real life I'm just another career woman really.

I'm afraid I need to bid you a good night for now. It's been a real pleasure to have your company in this late hour though :-). Would you be interested to keep in touch then :-)?