|
|
|
Coffinstuffer
[ View Image Gallery (9 pics) ] [ View Videos (2 videos) ]
Latest Journal Entry: Crustpunking - without the 'crust'. Or the 'punk.' September 26, 2008, 10:10am
Profile: Chyeah. 'If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat.' ~ Douglas Adams In other words, I think we all need to stop taking life so damn seriously. HEADS UP, FUCKERS - If, for whatever reason, you feel compelled to moan to me about your boring, cliche'd and obviously embellished-upon lives and how miserable and full of suffering they are, then please; for the good of the species, take this opportunity to remove yourself from the gene pool, because I'll tell you right here and now - I don't want to hear about how your dad beats/rapes/neglects you or how your mom died of cancer/drinks all day/killed your cat/whatever other painfully contrived bullshit you think will make me feel sorry for you. I don't want to hear about your suburban angst or your terminal leukimia which you'll miraculously recover from with enough 10-point ratings. You attention-whoreing emo kids make me sick - cut deeper next time, please - and spare the rest of us from your malignant stupidity. Now that that's out of the way, we now proudly return you to our normally-scheduled and never-read profile programming. 01101000 01100001 01110100 01100101 Rather than, as I have done in the past, write up some long-winded, skillfully worded and delightfully pretentious work of literary genius (read; narcissistic, self-fullfilling drivel, crafted to contain a certain calculated panache,) as my profile text, I have instead opted to simply say this and be done with it; If you are genuinely interested in contacting me, feel free to do as you might please - The means with which one could do so are located right here on this page, so that if you feel so inclined, the option is there for you to act upon. Hey, what's stopping you? Oh, right - Human apathy. Hahaha! Okay - Since I've always believed it to be a fruitless endeavour to seek to simply explain every single thing about oneself, I'm going to try something else - I'll name some issues, things I enjoy/detest, and the way I think about them, and you can see if I'm to your liking or not. First off, my views on Love; (Salvaged and quoted from my old profile paragraph); 'I believe that true Love is far more than merely a human sentiment; I believe that it is, at its core, a nonsexual bond between conscious entities which transcends physical borders - And therefore if you go throwing the word around with the reckless and wanton abandon of a prepubescent middle-schooler, then no, I won't reply to you.' The greatest love, in my opinion, is both intellectual and asexual in nature. I feel that hormonal meddling on behalf of the body is an enormous wrench in our understanding of love in its truest form. I'm not saying to abstain from sex or saying that physical unions are evil or immoral or anything, but I genuinely feel that Love is, in its purest form, above the level of primitive, biological urges. True love, to me, finds its place amid the highest levels of human consciousness, wherein one person finds an intimate and nearly inexplicable bond in the presence of another - regardless of that person's race or gender or any other physical triviality; that, to me, is Love, and for all intensive purposes, yes; I love Love, though it bothers me on some level to have to refer to it in a spoken or written language - in a way, it feels as if the devotion I and others feel would be limited by giving it a concrete definition in a language of meat - if Love is a sentiment above the level of animate meat and instinct, why should we refer to it in a tongue which cannot accurately exhibit the subtlety of its beauty? All of you who say you hate Love, well.. You have my condolences - I think you're missing the point of life. What else is there to say? Well, I believe that human consciousness is the purest 'force' or frequency in the entire universe, and I detest any inebriation thereof - Therefore I don't drink, do pot, or indulge in any other mind-bending substances for the sake of hedonistic fulfillment. * lol - outdated a little, I now drink from time to time. I'm not even going to bother trying to justify it. Once again, I'll just say this and stop; Contact me if you are genuinely interested, or ignore this all, forget me, and move on if you are not. **UPDATE; While I stated earlier that I have nothing against sexual unions, I've realized, after having to explain myself countless times via IM and comment, that I really should clarify this somewhere on here, because understandably, I was a bit vague in my earlier diatribe. While I wouldn't possibly hope to judge others for having sex/interest in sex, I myself have no interest in it at all, thank-you-very-much. I see sex and the desire for it as being completely separate concepts from my notion of selfless whole-hearted love, which I explained earlier. I myself am 'asexual' - The definition of this term varies greatly depending on who it is you're asking, but to me, asexuality is just an orientation - not a disorder or an imbalance, but an orientation like any other - one classified by the limited presence of - or the total lack of - a sex drive towards EITHER gender. I am uninterested in and indifferent towards the notion of engaging in sexual relations with males or females. So to answer this question before it gets asked.. again, no; sorry, but I don't get 'hard' except when externally stimulated. Shocking as this may sound to many of you, the thought of sex rarely (if ever) crosses my mind - in fact, the only times in which I really think about it are when it is brought up in conversation by another - and if I'm really pressed to think further into it, I go from lack of interest to lack of appetite very, very quickly. I do not find the naked human body attractive in any way; rather, I find it repulsive, ape-like and primitive. I do not see it as art - I see it as obsolete and vulgar 'machinery', for lack of a better word. Now this does not, by any means, suggest that I am incapable of comrehending physical beauty; in fact, quite the contrary is true - I'm actually a total fashion snob and have a hard time taking the 'esthetically challenged', the plain unnattractive - or even the unstriking, average-looking people of the world - seriously. I just prefer it when people have their clothes on, you know? Now.. that being said, I love kisses. Likes: I enjoy post-apocalyptic fiction and fashion, science-fiction literature, industrial music (and the culture thereof), Sega-fucking-genesis, chivalry, altruism, tactical shooters for PC and Xbox 360, intellectual discussion on preparations for the coming zombie armageddon, feminism and modern, aggressive femininity, rationally-constructed and relatively plausible conspiracy theories, politics, both Steam and Cyberpunk esthetics, role-playing games (text-based and otherwise), girls with combat boots and fascist-themed fashion esthetics, all kinds of helmets, cybergoggles, paintball - particularly the mechanical aspects of pump-action markers and the operation of semiautomatic blowbacks, and finally, MYSELF, in the most narcissistic and megalomaniacal ways achievable. I have a firearms fixation - I'm a gun nut, and I plan to own several rifles, handguns and shotguns as soon as I get my own place - as much for defence and contingency as for my own, sick personal interest. 'LOL, FIREARM OWNERS ARE COMPENSATING FOR SOMETHING, RITE?' Yeah, sure; I'm compensating for the fact that, as a scrawny-ass son of a bitch, I am weaker and smaller than most violent criminals. Take THAT, gun-grabbing liberal leftists! I also thoroughly enjoy lush, green vegetation and high-resolution images of temperate forests, mountains, and woodlands. I'd quite like to live in the Austrian Alps one day, though I don't think I'd take well to any extreme elevations. I enjoy solitude and I dearly cherish it. Two can be a crowd, sometimes. - That being said, I love being on stage; I love to perform. I love to sing, and, whatsmore, despite being self-taught and lacking any real vocal training, I'm not half bad at it, if I do say so myself. I love insects - Arachnids (and I can tell the difference) - not so much, unless they're huge and (relatively) docile like tarantulas. I used to want to be an entomologist, doncha know. I always pick Pirates over Ninjas. The -only- way I have my coffee is black. Interestingly enough, that's also the only way I have my wombat - chyeah, you thought for sure I was going to say 'women', didn't you? ; D ***Nerd warning*** I love giant robots, despite the fact that my self-ordained position of armchair general/strategist von snobbenstein prevents me from ignoring the actual tactical redundancy of bipedal armoured units in real-world warfare; their proposed advantage is that of their all-terrain manoevering capabilites; but isn't that what tank tracks were designed for in the first place? In addition to this, their height makes them inherantly easier to spot (and thus target, engage and destroy) across the horizon, as well as presenting enemies with much more of a frontal target to gun for than would a low-profile tank of a more conventional design. In order for the mech to absorb as much punishment as they are seen to in most anime and video games, they'd have to (assuming they were constructed from the same materials as modern tanks are) be made insanely heavy and bulky - thus making them insanely slow and cumbersome - if even still plausibly mobile at all - and even this much armour wouldn't be likely to save them from a modern surgical airstrike - which, considering the proposed mech's high-profile and ridiculously slow moving speed, would be easy to coordinate, leaving the mech a sitting duck in almost any conceivable terrain. Even the fastest possible walker design would still be miles behind the slowest, most obsolete tank - and one of the most integral parts of modern strategic warfare is the capability to mobilize and flank enemy positions and groupings quickly and without warning - in both of these criteria, the walking tank design is by far inferior to the conventional track-propelled design. Oh, and this is all ignoring the fact that tracks are low maintenance and low cost, while hydraulic robotics locomotion are ...quite the opposite. /nerd SO YES; despite all this, I -still- love giant robots! I believe in aliens. I mean, come on - The universe is so unthinkably, unfathomably vast that they've got to be out there somewhere; I just happen to believe that they're probably so far away that we wont encounter them for several dozen more millenia, at the earliest - so no, I don't believe that an alien race has ever visited earth 'in person' on UFOs - from a logical standpoint, there'd be no reason for them to; if they were so advanced as to travel millions of lightyears to get here, they'd be more than advanced and intelligent enough not to risk sending any of their own people down to a potentially hostile and quite probably toxic planetary atmosphere just to study some moderately evolved apes, when they could just moniter our every move - all electronically and discreetely - from the safety of the distant cosmos. And really, other than just in the name of science, to study an interesting new life form, why would an alien race capable of travelling here (to a rather 'backwater' portion of the galaxy - and on a whim, no less) choose to keep themselves hidden from us - when they could, quite simply, just either introduce themselves peacefully (after studying our languages and customs for a duration) and forge a benevolent diplomacy of some sort - or, thinkably even more easily, overwhelm and enslave us in a single day to prevent us from ever becoming a threat. I'm into Anime, and I love dressing up for conventions like the geek that I am. ***not so much anymore, actually. If you've read this far, give yourself a pat on the back and include the phrase 'it looks like we're in for a frigid winter this year' in the first comment you leave here - if you bother to leave one at all. Truth be told, I wrote this profile in hopes of /deterring/ people from commenting on my page - the same goes for the delightful horror-EBM music your ears are being rent asunder by (***actually, I removed that becaus it was even starting to bother me). While I genuinely meant most of what I said here, and I genuinely enjoy GANM's tunes, I chose to include both of them (in such gratuitous volume) for the sole purpose of weeding out undesirable company - as you can probably tell by the recent bold text I've added to the top of the page, I seem to have been unsuccessful in this aim. Well, once again; thank you for taking the time to read, but when (if) you comment, please avoid using flowery wording as you've seen me use here - it's morbidly pretentious and I only really used it for rhetoric effect; I don't actually talk/type like that, nor do I actually enjoy reading shit like that, thank you. Actually, most of that part about love was written some time ago, and while it is - more or less - still applicable, the reader must realize that I care very little for companionship now. And oh, man; I now LOL at the part about 'forces' or 'frequencies'. It's all so delightfully positive! *puke* I'm not going to remove it, as it makes good filler, but I'm not going to edit it either, because I'm far too lazy for that. As with anything else on here, if you're interested in hearing my real, current theological views (or lack therof) on life, the universe, and everything, (LOL 42) then go ahead and ask; I promise to keep them brief, because really, there isn't a whole lot to say on the subject anymore. For the record, I love deception. I live for manipulation. I get off on it. I also love cherry-rhubarb pie with vanilla ice cream - I don't think there's anything more wholesome than enjoying a nice slice of cherry-rhubarb pie - with a yummy, yummy, flaky crust, no less - while sitting in a lawn chair on your porch, contentedly watching the summer days pass you by.. Dislikes: I am REPULSED by emo music, emo culture and all the fucking mindless bullshit-swallowing adherants thereto -Seriously, emo/scene/fraggle/what-have-you kids need not even bother trying to initiate conversation with me - I AM obnoxiously elitist enough not to repond to you, 'merely' on the grounds of your fucking ridiculous subculture - I really DO hate it that much, because see; if you were ACTUALLY an interesting enough individual - the operative word here being 'individual', see - to warrant my attention, or indeed that of anyone else - then you wouldn't need to seek to allign and confine yourself within such a smotheringly conformist brand of vaccuum-sealed, mass-produced and oh-so-highly marketable 'nonconformity', now would you, you fucking poseurs?! Go back to myspace; you and your ilk are polluting this fucking website's bandwidth. I'm also similarly disgusted by all other kinds of attention whores, cutters, the notion of self-mutilation in general, masochism, sadism, drama kings/queens, needless and unwarranted violence, savagery, masculinity, chauvenism, misogynism, personality disorders, just-about-every-juggalo-I've-ever-met (well, I acknowledge that I may have just seen the very, very, very bad side of them and there may very well be a well-spoken and insightful-minded bunch of you out there, whom are more than welcome to prove their merit to me any time, eh?), moppish hair, wasteful action, obesity, Victorian esthetics, the Victorian era, (and, you know what? Queen Victoria herself!) gothic architecture (unless it's obliterated, decrepit, and shattered gothic architecture, in which case I'd quite likely enjoy it), anything cliche'd, latin languages, fanatical Nintendo fanboys and girls, political correctness, anarchists, fascism and authoritarianism (unless there was a way to ensure an enlightened despot), those stupid fucking 'croc' sandles, television, sex and lust (yes, I put that under 'dislikes', get over it), Nazis, poseurs, furfags and other deviants, Cannabis culture, stoners, drinkers, religious fanaticism (and, likewise, scientific fanaticism), Wiccanism, 'Neurotypicals' - ie; the unthinking majority, people who don't read, 'number people', arithmatic, escapist philosophies, communists and the philosophy of communism, 'vampyres', rating-whores, people who think that real pirates look even remotely like Johnny Depp, and people who DESECRATE THE MEANING OF THE WORD 'GOTH' BY ASSOCIATING IT IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM WITH EMO MUSIC, THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS, THE WARDROBES OF POP-PUNK BANDS OR AN EVEN FLEETING INTEREST IN SHITTY NU-METAL BANDS, MARILYN MANSON, OR ANYTHING ENDING IN THE WORD 'CORE'. That last one bothers me SO much that I won't even bother including my full, unabbridged rant about it on here, so profane and long-winded it would be. Nonetheless, if you'd like to hear it, simply inquire about it in a comment - if you aren't part of the cancer that is contributing to the death of goth, I'd be more than glad to vent to you about this growing problem. ANIMALS - I've actually started to realize that I don't give a flying fuck about the well-being of animals - Nor have I ever; not even about my own pets. Humans are the dominant species on this planet; if the roles were reversed - as they sometimes are still - and the all-powerful homo-sapiens slips and falls down from the top of the food chain, he is liable to be torn apart without mercy. Beasts neither give nor expect an inch of given quarter in the wild, because this is how nature, at her cold, heartless core, operates and works, and their simple minds understand that the law of the land is and is always 'kill or be killed'. Our dominion over this world is merely the fruitition of millions of years of natural selection and a fair amount of luck taking its course; we earned our position by being overwhelmingly competant in our ability to adapt, survive, and utilize weaponry - In my opinion, the world is rightfully our oyster, and all other lifeforms are to be harvested or otherwise utilized according to our need - not coddled and given consolation prizes for finishing at less-than-desirable standings in the race to the top of the Terran food chain. Likewise, on the topic of animals and animal rights, the massive influx of deplorably stupid, erroneously self-righteous pre-teen PETA activists I'm seeing these days are -really- starting to piss me the fuck off; Look into how many animals PETA's own shelters arbitrarily euthenize every day - you'll be in for a pleasant surprise, I guarantee it. 'POLITICAL CORRECTNESS' I also mentioned in that 'dislikes' chunk that I hate 'political correctness' - but I'd like to take a moment to elaborate on the extent to which it bothers me; a lot. Almost moreso than actual bigotry, I sometimes find that 'political correctness' and the double standard I now see imposed upon caucasians in the first world gets me more flustered than all of the other fucking stupid fuck in this world; how is it possible that a 'Black-only music award' ceremony is any more acceptable than a 'white-only' or 'chinese only' one? Similarly, what if a television producer were to push for a 'White Entertainment channel' (as opposed to the B.E.T)? - There would be a public outcry! I don't see how it's at all permissable to give special treatment to a single minority - and at the same time punish another - in reparaition for events which occurred some 400 years ago to-date. Along that same vein, I also find it hillarious how reluctant caucasians have become to even mention the word 'black' for this reason. It has become 'politically incorrect' (what does that even mean, really?) to even passively mention the race of an african-descendant citizen - while at the same time it is more than permissable for a black to call a caucasian citizen a 'honkey' or 'cracker' - with obviously malicious intent, as I have experienced firsthand at school - without reprimand of any fashion. It should be very heavily noted that I am not racist; I believe in the merit of individuals - ethnicities, creeds, genders and religions are, I believe, irrellevant in determining this - the only exception occurring with emos - but what disgusts me is our 21st century culture's willingness to let a double-standard as blatantly moronic as this exist in a 'civilized society' - why can't people be people and everyone let it sit at that, free of both negative and positive consequences for the colour of one's skin? Favorite Music: While I don't listen -exclusively- to industrial music, I don't exactly enjoy a wide, open-minded variety of genres, either. My ears take best to anything with polyrythms, intelligent lyrics, creativity and ingenuity. Off-the-wall music hits closest with me - Prog rock, the aforementioned Industrial movement, darkwave, coldwave, new wave, post-punk, rock operas, operatic rock, and, sometimes, the grungiest, most brutal of death metal. Of course, there's always more - I listen to whatever it is that interests me - it's just that in today's stagnant, hip hop and pop-punk infested music scene, there isn't a whole lot that does. Some bands and acts I particularly enjoy include Clan of Xymox, Combichrist, GANM, Joy Division, Psyclon Nine, Angelspit, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Nitzer Ebb, Ohgr, The Protomen, Skinny Puppy, Gentle Giant, Alestorm, ::wumpscut::, Spetsnaz, This Morn' Omina, Covenant, The Cruxshadows, The Horrors, Alice in Chains, Frank Klepacki, To/Die/For, The Smashing Pumpkins, Sheep on Drugs, Emilie Autumn, Emmerson Lake and Palmer, Leaether Strip, Megadeth, Frontline Assembly, Jamiroquai, Eisbrecher, Opeth, Rammstein, Retard-O-Bot, Stolen Babies, And One, Fields of the Nephilim, VNV Nation, and the Red Army Choir. MUSIC UPDATE; Recently, I've come to realize that I've grown unbelievably intolerant of almost all non-electronic music genres.. I can't even believe that I used to listen to metal at one point in my life.. yuck.
|