Sex: male Age: 24 Location: New York,
New York, United States Orientation: Straight Married to:evilvenus666 Rating: 10.00 Rating points: 10
Member since: February 04, 2005 Last logged in: August 10, 2014, 06:08am
Account Status: Premium Member Rated by: 1 people
Sex: w/ Wife Only Age: 7 Location:West Harlem, NYC, NY Member since: February 4th 2005 Sexual Orientation: Erect
This user is cheating death. Occupation:Waiter/Soldier Married toevilvenus666 Religious views: Cult of The Sub-Genius Damage: 6.0221415 x 10ēģ[?]
"Im smart in that Bruce Willis sort of way."
"Those who have the least to say will use the most words to say it."
The Dinosaurs went extinct because you touch yourself.
I'm sarcastic, defiant, and not always so friendly.
I'm hypocritical, contradictory, and can be somewhat ill-tempered.
I find that those feelings which are best, are those which are felt least.
I'm a mutt.
I Love shiny things...
I hate Emos.
I have a rather strong distaste for myself.
Ska music is just okay.
If you've read this far, I'm impressed.
I don't have too many friends because frankly, I hate stupidity and it seems to be a pandemic these days.
What friends I do have are really important to me. But then again, that's what makes them friends. Without value, they'd just be acquaintances.
I've been made 2 signs in the history of this VF acct.
The quickest way to my heart is through my stomach.
The quickest way to my pants it through my heart.
You probably don't want to go in my pants anyway.
Odds are, if you do, you're not the kind of person I want in my pants...
The 10 commandments of Awesome
The following are the holiest of the many laws of Awesome, handed down from on high by the one true God of Awesome, Bruce Campbell:
1. I am the God of Awesome, which have brought thee out of the land of confusion, out of the house of fools. Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Capische?
2. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy Awesome in vain.
3. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in emo whining, or that is in the Juggalo encouraging, or that is in the Kindergoth promoting. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them.
4. Remember the Abbath day, to keep it Awesome.
5. Honor thy Chainsaw and thy Boomstick: that thy days may be Awesome.
6. Thou shalt Remain awesome in thy ways, thy words, and thy food preferences.
7. Thou shalt not commit non-awesomeness.
8. Thou shalt not listen to Alan Jackson.
9. Thou shalt commit a jihad on anything which is guilty of non-awesomeness on 3 strikes.
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is thy neighbor's...especially his ass!
The entirety of this situation gets soggy in milk. It Just can't stand up to the example set by other cereals. When cross-eyed chicks with just okay bodies model latex, erections face a bear market. As my favorite Cardinal once told me,"Stick this candle in your ass or Jesus will never love you!" I suppose in this particular instance Jesus was a metaphor for a date tree. There's something here that's rotten to the core. It wasn't me! It was the one-armed man. Don't you know who I am? I'm the one-armed boxer! I killed seven in one blow. Bring us a shrubbery! That's your answer to everything! He hated having her watch him eat a French breakfast. Like masturbation you do things to the bread that other people shouldn't know about. I suppose though that in the end they did get married anyway, despite his being not but a lowly haberdasher's apprentice.
I sometimes worry that I'm a figment of my own imagination.
Children of Men
Neighbor No. 13
The Ladies' Man
A Clockwork Orange
Everything Is Illuminated
Any of the Zatoichi Flicks
Full Metal Jacket
Both Ace Ventura Movies
Dumb and Dumber
I Am Legend
There Will Be Blood
The Fifth Element
Leon: The Profesional
The Bad Brains
The Benedictine Monks of Santo Domingo
The Birthday Massacre
Bran Van 3000
The Latch Brothers
Nine Inch Nails
They Might Be Giants
Sex: A Man's Guide
A People's History of the US (1492-present)
A Farewell to Arms
Hunt For the Zero Point
Campaigns of a Non-Combatant
The works of the late Dr. Seuss