Widespread wings and holy rings above you head don't mean a damn thing girl, Satan was a seraphim once upon a time too.
Status: Want to see something amusing? Curious what I looked like with hair? Check out my journal :p
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Sex: male Age: 20 Location: Woodland,
Washington, United States
Member since: July 27, 2010 Account: Free Account Orientation: Straight Status: Single Occupation: Assistant to the regional manager/sea captain/astronaut.
Subject name: Dustin Shane Roberts. Occupation: College freshman, Package Handler (Damn you, UPS...) Jehovah's Bystander, Professional Ball-Buster, Terrorist Hunter, BASEketball Champion, 80's Pornstar. Height: Ten feet tall. Weight: A fuckin' ton. I haven't updated this in a while, I figure it's about overdue. Do you ever wake up in the morning and realize that you are, in fact, so fantastically amazing that your fantastical amazingness actually causes physical pain? My mornings are like that. I brush my teeth with melted diamonds, and my fancy-dancy cartoon-thickness cigars are hand-rolled by the hungriest of Cuban orphans. Okay... Maybe not. But I'm a sucker for hyperbole. And contractions. And blatantly ignoring grammatical rules. I recently started working nights at UPS, loading trucks, so I'll likely be on at positively god-awful hours of the night. Before you ask, no, I do not wear the little brown shorts, unless you want me to, of course. The illustrious higher-ups at United Parcel Service have branded me with the unfortunate title of Package Handler. Let all innuendos begin... Now. I am 19, and yes, I do know that I look older. The average age people think I am is usually around 23-26. When I'm not busy kicking ass, chewing bubblegum, running out of bubblegum to chew and tripling my ass-kicking facility as a result of said lack of bubblegum, playing blackjack with God and Billy Mays, kickboxing with Korean dictators, baking souffles fluffed by my own tears, and finding sunken treasure while flirting with mermaids, I enjoy: 1. Playing guitar 2. Listening to music 3. Reading 4. Working out 5. Killing time with friends 6. Singing in my shower 7. Attempting to cook. If you're tired of the usual bullshittery and skulduggery of online, alternative social networking, let me know, and we'll razz it around. Don't be shy. Don't let my shiny head intimidate you, it contains only eccentricity and morbid, self-loathing cleverness.
Likes
Guitar, sad music, cooking, reading, writing, meeting new people, good conversations, girls, video games, scene girls, taco tuesdays at the Ariel Tavern, chunky peanut butter and blueberries on whole grain toast, singing in the car, being random, getting weird looks from strangers, accents, RPG's, Voodoo Doughnuts, old blues songs, meeting interesting people, scene girls, pepper jack cheese, free thinkers, scene girls, valencia oranges, stegasaurses, and scene girls.
Dislikes
Ignorant people, country and rap music, condescending people, politics, overly religious idiots, all manners of general fucktard-ery. People that use waaaaaay too many profanities (I'm cool with the occasional slip of the tongue, but too much is too much. Let's not talk like slack-jawed mouthbreathers), that's-what-she-saids, trolls, people who argue with trolls, super-conervative baby boomers, the words moist and Keith (because they both just feel nasty to say, try saying 'em out loud), those douchebag white guys with tribal armband tattoos at the the gym, and the fact that I cannot see my forehead, the fact that I still get emails from Peta2 because I signed a petition at Warped Tour last year from a really cute scene girl, turkey bacon, Kevin Bacon, soggy bacon, and lack of bacon.
Favorite Music
Coheed & Cambria, Muse, Opeth, HIM, CKY, Forgive Durden, The Dear Hunter, the Sweeny Todd soundtrack, Mae, Alkaline Trio, Streetlight Manifesto, Reel Big Fiscalh, Less Than Jake, the Offspring, Ludo, whatever else I'm into that I forgot to mention.
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