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Aisle
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Profile:  Call me Dan. Or, if you're brave, "Sir Daniel the Omega" or "Sir Dan the Rabbithearted" is sufficient enough to satiate my dorkdom. I am old enough. For anything. "Aisle" is simply a word that I enjoy looking at. I belong anywhere I am. I ain't stupid. I'm not naive. I don't feel any need to cushion my words, no matter how rash or stupid they may seem at first. I will, however, explain myself thoroughly if YOU DIDN'T GET THE JOKE. I like talking to strangers. Almost more, in fact, than talking to people very close to me. Feel free to IM me (VocaExSilentia on AIM), unless of course you're horrendously awkward in any or all social interactions. I wear alot of black because IT HIDES MY IMPERFECTIONS. AUGH. I live a few miles away from Washington D.C. I have lived in that area my entire life, but I've been all over the world. While I'm perfectly capable of making this profile SUPER SPIFFY so to speak, you'll notice that I maintain some goddamned restraint, unlike the vast majority of HTML-addled labotomy mishaps out there. I don't care how many tables you have, just let me read your shit, fool. Haha. I'm what you might call a sometimes-vegetarian. I watch MMA fights when I'm bored. It's unhealthy. I'm addicted to QC. I enjoy aggressive inline skating. Yeah, I'm a fruitbooter. Wanna fight about it, you unholy skateboarder assholes? Sure, some of you are cool, but the legions of jackasses behind you sorta drown you out (i.e. FUCK BAM MARGERA AND THAT KID AT THE PARK WHO ALWAYS ASKS ME TO DO A BACKFLIP). I have a tendency to combine random words such as "anaconda" and "badger" into one because it makes me giggle just imagining the result. In this case, BADGERCONDA. I have constant suicidal thoughts, but don't be alarmed. They're mostly just daydreams of what it would be like. Christ, I'm so morose. I constantly quote movies at the most inappropriate times, and being this is a .44 magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and will blow your head clean off, you gotta ask yourself a question: "do I feel lucky?" Well do ya, punk? I'm a band geek. I had a whistle and a mace and a cape and people called me Drum Major. I don't really like talking about myself and it usually turns into a long list of "I..." IRONY. I am my own cult. I have serenity, I have courage, I have wisdom. Believe it or not, my very first job was under the employ of Abercrombie and Fitch. I chain-smoke. Don't care. My likes and dislikes mesh alot. I'm good with card tricks. Bisexuality is a LIE. I write alot. I'm interested, so you should be too. I read even more. My room is a secret library that I totally did not just tell you about. I habitually play with guns and knives and cars. I am a hazard. I have been edited for content and formatted to fit your screen. Enjoy the show.  Likes: Likes:+ I enjoy the company of those who can appreciate simplicity. + I generally like people until they start making a lot of noise; then I just want to.. get away. + I like artsy people since I feel like I can share their perspective on things. The same goes for anyone else I encounter, but I might not necessarily like them. + I do not hate things, save for indifference. + I like people who can believe what I say until the moment I tell them it wasn't true, but can then understand that I didn't mean to hurt them with my deception. I just like understanding, plain and simple. Dislikes: Dislikes:+ I dislike people who talk too much and say too little, and I especially dislike grating voices, whether they be in close proximity or just within earshot. + I dislike cowards, fakes, and sadists. + I don't mind backstabbers and liars, because I am a backstabber and a liar, and as long as we're honest about that one thing (who we are), then it won't be long until the rest of humanity realizes just how terrible it has truly become, and it'll all be justified. + I also like people who smile, even if I don't smile as much as I should, and in that way I'm kind of selfish. + I repeat myself sometimes. + I dislike cowards, fakes, and sadists. Oftentimes I'll find all three wrapped up into one, and the trifecta will draw me in until I'm within biting range. + I am not a coward, a fake, or a sadist, and again, I don't lie when it comes to matters of identity. On cowards: they will lie to and ignore people out of their own fear or insecurity. They will try to avoid undesirable situations, and many times make the situations even worse. They hurt people that they can save, and when given the option, they will turn and run, rather than stand firmly for what they know is right. Sometimes, however, they won't even know what "right" is, and that's just a damned shame, because it means they're hopeless. They will keep running and running and lying and remaining complacent until one day they run themselves out, and all the troubles that they've escaped will, in the end, bear down on them all at once. On fakes: Some people are good at it, and some people aren't, but no matter how good someone is at masking their true self, someone close will always see through it and then have a sad, sorry realization about the person they thought was so intelligent, so unique, so tortured, so badass. I'll make this short: keep it up, keep it up so that the genuine ones can use you as a stepladder. On sadists: Those who take pleasure in the suffering of others disgust me to no end. And now, it pains me to think about just how close I was to all three. Favorite Music: La Musica: I generally like everything I hear. Except for noisecore, terrorcore, mazdacore, experimental incendiarica, kittencore, hobocore, tibetan punk, and polka because I really can't take any of it seriously at all (you also don't know which ones I made up). Below is an attempt to be hip and witty and shit. An ideal world of popular music: + All hip hop vocals would sound like the love child of Vinnie Paz and Black Thought, except with even more lyrical references to Illadelph and space travel. + I would make Indie rocker snobs finally realize that they are the musical equivalent of those annoying Comic Con geeks who know everything and correct the most minute mistakes. + I would have actually "heard them," instead of "heard about them." + Rap would revert back to the innocence of Adidas-rocking Run DMC making a collaborative effort with Steven Tyler. + Michael Jackson would still be the pop king and no one would judge him for where his gloves go. + Sub-genres would finally be labeled as "other," or "experimental," and I wouldn't need to keep track of that shit. + All pop-punk rock bands would have sex with each other and become one giant Megazord (Orgyzord?) of pop-punk rock bands; Jimmy Eat World would be the head, while New Found Glory would be the mangled, syphilis inflicted cock, spraying the pus of horrible music on Blink-182 fans who just want them to get together again. + Coldplay would eventually take off their human suits to reveal their cyborg exoskeletons, while Radiohead would lash out with tasers to destroy their robotic imposters. + Audioslave would descend from a blimp as a reincarnated Led Zeppelin, and many cheers would be heard. + Coheed and Cambria would come out with albums faster, while Claudio Sanchez would fuck every woman on earth to prove his vocal range is a blessing and not a homosexual curse. + Godspeed! You Black Emperor would shorten their name to Godspeed, Pretentious Ass and then shorten that to Tool. + Hardcore bands would continue kicking ass, while AFI would try as hard as they can to fit in with Converge fans. + Weird Al Yankovich would parody Animal Collective and subsequently get raped by his own hair. + Ashlee Simpson and her clones would only be a horrible nightmare, instead of a vapid, soulless, existential crisis-inflicted nightmare. + Sam Beam's beard would engulf all the bands on the Projekt Revolution tour and spit them out with better taste. + Linkin Park would record another Hybrid Theory-worthy album. + The members of Reel Big Fish would turn into really big cartoon fish and star in a Little Mermaid remake where they gangbang the little mermaid. + NWA would become the horsemen of a new world order and bring in the apocalypse... with attitude. + Daft Punk would take over France and then France would be a pretty okay place to visit. + Tegan and Sara would give me kisses. + Marilyn Manson would be president with a cabinet of Amanda Palmer as the Secretary of State (Dirty Business?), Sufjan Stevens as Secretary of the Interior (Illinoise?), The Blood Brothers as Secretaries of Homeland Security (Fire to the Face on Fire?), Dr. Dre as Secretary of Agriculture (Chronic 2001?), an undead Johnny Cash as Secretary of Labor (If I Were a Carpenter?), Luciano Pavarotti as Secretary of Defense (cause that would be fucking awesome), Lindsay Lohan as Secretary of Health and Human Services (hella irony), Kanye West as Secretary of the Treasury (I don't even know anymore), and Rancid as Secretaries of Transportation (why the fuck not?). + Ray Charles would rise from the grave without a sense of smell or taste and make more wonderful music about being pissed off at his multiple handicaps. + Matisyahu would turn out to be the true Messiah, and there would be much rejoicing. + Freddy Mercury would have been straight and spawned multiple super-children who would grow up to form the New Illuminati. + Sarah McLachlan would be like the sandman and sing me to sleep. + Bjork would make a song that I actually get. + Sigur Ros would eliminate pollution with his epic walls of sound. + Simple Plan and Good Charlotte would have a slap-fight to the death, with no victory on either side. + Snow Patrol would team up with Arctic Monkeys and form the band Arctic Snow-Monkey Patrol and earn a popular anime on Adult Swim right next to DETHKLOK. + Brand New would stop being so goddamned emo. + Aaron Lewis of Staind would lose weight and finally get all the ass he deserves. + Stephen Lynch would become a guitar-ninja and recruit other singing comedians into his band of night-serenading-assassins. + Serj Tankian would stop being so badass and then say "fuck you" and then become badass once again. + Tenacious D would be the national minstrels and "Fuck Her Gently" would replace "The Star Spangled Banner." + Bert McCracken would be crushed in a car compacter but would sound exactly the same. + Jack White would replace Cedric Bixler-Zavala in The Mars Volta and their lyrics would finally make some fucking sense. + Spoon would stay the same. I like Spoon. There's more, but fuck you. Homepage: http://www.xanga.com/twistedRHETORIC Link 1: http://questionablecontent.net Link 2: http://scarygoround.com Link 3: http://www.animalshaveproblemstoo.com
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