Lyrics of the day

Please tell me
Why I belong to you
When I cry
When I cry
For your hands on my skin
Save the only thing you can
Tell me what it is
Don't try to hide the perfect mess
Of your strange behavior
--"Your hands on my skin " by De/Vision

I'm me.I'm not here to be your lap dog, your whore, your interest. I don't pretend to be perfect and I don't pretend to be special. I can be a wreck sometimes and I've done things to myself which I can't undo and in that process I've lost some people I care about, but all of those things make me who I am. I can't change now and even if I could I don't think I'd want too.

I am happy with myself and my past I have come to terms with and I won't be pitted against my self for anyone's pleasure. I can be skittish at times and timid when it comes to certain things, but I have a mind and opinions and I have reasons for being the way I am. If you care maybe one day you'll find out.

I'm sick of being toyed with, of being hurt, and so if you do it to me don't expect me to stick around. As sweet and nice as I can be I can be cold- no, not a bitch, just cold, icy. It's my protection and I will wield it to it's full extent if I'm attacked.

My friends I would do anything for- a few of you know that. I'll sit up with you at all hours talking, consoling, being a friend but I don't expect that in return. It never seems to be fulfilled. I don't expect anything from those I care about because I'm tired of being hurt in return and it's easier if I don't expect anything- so don't ask.

I don't trust easily, though I might give off that guise. I don't show emotion easily if it is anything other than excitement or happiness. And I don't share with people my feelings on a whim. I'm vulnerable to what people say no matter what anyone likes to think.

I have a guilt complex and it sometimes affects things I do, but you know what, it's gotten better over the years- alot better. It's just something that continues to exist in me.

I'm a writer and by nature writer's lie. We spin stories and tales and exaggerate and diminish important facts, but I never strive to hurt anyone and I don't say things I don't mean. Sometimes my metaphors are more straight forward than my vernacular. Just remember that.

I love sad songs and I love romance- so much so that at times the two intermingle and I don't know where one stops and the other begins. I lose myself in things I can't have and naively am blind to those that exist in front of me. I'm tired of giving my heart to people, but I'm not bitter.

I don't seek your acceptance or your trust and I don't expect you to understand me, because honestly I don't always understand myself. I don't understand but I seek to discover, and if you ask the right questions I can tell you almost anything. I won't change for you and I won't let you change for me. I value who you are and I accept everything you have to offer, but I won't follow blindly.



And some random things about me
* I crave good conversation. I yearn for stimulation of my interest and will never turn down a good debate, philosophical ideal, or intriguing dissertation. If you can catch my interest that means more than anything. I challenge you.

* I go by August. No, this is not my real name, but I use it for a plethora of reasons. Will I tell you my real name, quite possibly so.

* I'm a furry. Blue Russian Kitten. I don't fursuit but I am relatively active in the community. Being one does not, in any way change who I am or how I act around anyone.

* I'm a cutter. I've done so for 6+ years and it's something I'm working on fixing. I am not proud of what I've done but I wouldn't be who I am today had I not started. I'm at peace with it and so I can focus on getting better.

* I am probably one of the most modest people you know. I'm shy to a fault at times, I can accept compliments graciously, but I'll probably think you need your eyes checked or something of the sort.

* I'm a sucker for eyes...and smiles.

* I am loyal to a fault sometimes. I've been described as a "puppy dog." I think it was perhaps an insult, but oh well.

* And don't think insulting me will work. I know I'm not a vision of typical and accepted beauty, I know I'm not perfect, and I know there will always be someone prettier or more graceful than me. So please don't try to ruffle my feathers. It doesn't work.

* I want to wake up next to someone after having just spent the night with them (just sleeping). To me that would be amazing.

* I will not cyber, roleplay sexually, or anything of the sort with anyone.. You will be blocked.

*I call people "lovely" if I think they are. Do not mistake it for me hitting on you.

* I am a [[roleplayer]]- have been for nine plus years (text based). I do forum based, though I have tried my hand at pen and paper rpgs.

* I'm into [[BDSM]]. I'm a submissive, lifestyle wise. This does not mean you can walk all over me. People tend to mistake submissive as easy or weak minded. I'm a very assertive person at times.

* I'm an accepted [[SuicideGirl]] and I am an [[alternative model]]

* I'm a [[college student]] majoring in Creative Writing

* I play the [[KEYTAR]] (Yes, that is what it is)

* I'm a romantic in the wrong century

* I love to cuddle and kiss. Insanely so.

* I am PANSEXUAL. Gender is irrelevant to me.

* I'm a very friendly person and I love meeting new people

* I think too much like a girl.

* I love to [[travel]].

* I hate liars and I will not put up with you if you are one. I've had my share of them and I've over with it.

* Religions of all kinds are beautiful but don't try to toss your beliefs at me.

* I ADORE getting all dressed up.

* I BELIEVE in [[magic, unicorns, and faeries]]

* I'm a [[horseback rider]]. I ride English, and I used to compete.

* I like to bite and be bitten.

* I have a strong interest in IE...if you know what that is, awesome. If you don't, awesome as well. ^^ If you want to know, ask me...but it has to do with BDSM.

* I'm an open book if you ask the right questions

Etsy: Your place to buy & sell all things handmadeAugustMasque.etsy.com

I like lots of things, but than, I give everything at least one shot, so I suppose that could do it. However, there are a few things which strike my fancy more than others and I suppose that this is the place to put such. I absolutely adore dancing in the rain, to feel the water against me, the dual feelings of being weighted to the earth and floating. I adore dancing in general and I adre horseback riding. I love writing long letters to people and recieving them in return because it lets you know that someone cares enough about you to take a few minutes out of their day to think about you.

I love the feel of silk and the restriction of a corset, the fullness of dresses. I enjoy long walks through sand without my shoes on and I love waking up in the morning with the last remnants of my makeup on because, despite the swift face wash the night before it makes your lips look fuller, your eyes more vibrant.

I love quiet evenings with a book and I love writing my own stories, ideas. I love the Victorian era and the Renaissance. I adore music and dancing around my room with a hairbrush as a microphone. I like getting in the car and having no destination in mind and I love exploring.

I like being by myself but I do love good company. I love being a lady and I love the times I can step it down a notch. I love twisting cliches for my own purpose and I adore animals. I absolutely love getting into a bed that has sheets which are cold to the touch and I love snuggling under the blankets when it is chilly. I love cuddling and I love kissing. I love waking up to a text message that just says "Have a good day" and receiving a smile when I give one first and knowing that people trust me enough to talk to me.

I am not a fan of people who type in IM speak or text speak. Granted I don't have perfect english either, but periods and capitals come in handy and I like being able to read something once through and know what the other person is talking about. Blame it on years of RP, but I tend to ignore people who do that..though I do try to speak with them first...

I don't like closemindedness in general. It limits everything and definitely the people you can meet, which in and of itself is depressing.

I don't like liars. I don't mean those silly white lies, like telling your sister that her dress is pretty even when you think it is ugly but she is about to walk out the door to her prom or something. ^^ I mean liars who lie about everything. I've met a few, made some mistakes and if you are going to lie about your gender (unless you are transgendered), your family, your very being, I promise I can be cold.

And, I suppose finally I don't like people bashing religion. I'm not religious myself and the religion I follow has no bearing on anything, but when people bash other's religion for the hell of it or because they don't like it, or because they think it is silly or because they don't agree with it, I don't have tolerance. Your ideas are your own and you are more than welcome to have them and express them, but there are places to do so and ways to do such and it really bothers me.

Music means a lot to me...It has been around me since before I can remember so the list is long...
(I will finish this later)
A
Angels on Acid
AFI
Angelspit
**Apoptygma Bezerk
Absurd Minds
Aiden
Amber Asylum
**Angels on Acid

AliceNine
**Aryia A Flock of Seagulls
**Alice in Videoland
A Perfect Circle
Alien Sex Fiend
Abney Park *Audra

B
Bauhaus
Behind the Scenes
*Bella Morte
Billy Joel
**Birthday Massacre, The
Bright Eyes
British Sea Power
Butthole Surfers

C
Carfax Abbey
**Cake
**Combichrist
**Cruxshadows, The
**Cure, The

D
**Dope Stars Inc
**David Bowie
**Deadsy
**Diorama
**Depeche Mode
Dir en Grey
Diva Destruction
**Dresden Dolls, The
De/Vision

E
Eagles, The
Eisbrecher
Ego Likeness
Evanescence
**Emilie Autumn

F
**Faint, The
Front Line Assembly

G
GooGoo Dolls
**Grateful Dead

H
HelloGoodbye
HIM
HorrorPops

I
Informatik

J
Jack off Jill
**James D Stark
Journey
Joy Division
K
**Kill Hannah
Kidney Thieves
Kittie

Kosheen

L
**London After Midnight
**L'Ame Immortelle
Lacuna Coil
Ladytron
**The Last Dance
**Le Tigre
Loudermilk
Lunascape

M
Meatloaf
Ministry
Misery Signals
**Mission UK, The
Miyavi
Monkees, The
MSI
Mushroomhead
Metro Station My Chemical Romance

**Mesh

N
Nana Kitade
**Neuroticfish
New Order
**Nightwish
8Nine Inch Nails

O
**Orgy

P
**Panic!at the Disco
Peter, Paul, and Mary
Paralysed Age
**PomPom Diary
Q
**Queen

R
Rasputina
Razed in Black
Rolling Stones
Royal Visionaries

S
SexyDeath
Silk Demise
Saint Dymphna
Savage Garden
**She Wants Revenge
**Seabound
**Simon and Garfunkle
**Siouxsie and the Banshees
Sisters of Mercy
*Stromkern
Sick Puppy
Social Code
**Soil

T
**ThouShaltNot
**Tegan and Sara
TaTu
TECHNO

U
**Unicorns, The

V
**VNV Nation
Valentine Wolfe
Vendetta Red

W
Wolfsheim
Within Temptation

X
Y
Z
**Zeromancer